Fariya

"Tum kitne kutte ho na" !

Jub woh mujh se ye jumla kehti thi to us ke laboN main dabi dabi muskurahat bari piyari lagti thi aur mujeh bhi hasi aa jati thi. Fariya se meri mulaqat pehli baar 'MD Anderson' main hui thi. Main Residency ka elective kerne Chicago se Houston gaya tha. Fariya wahan ke coffee shop main kaam kerti thi. Woh India se aai thi. Main 2 mahine wahan raha. Fariya se roz mulaqat hoti. Roz main use chehrne ke liye kehta - 'Aaj bhi coffee main taste nahi hai' aur woh mujh se kehti: "tum kitne kutte ho na"! Aur hum dono has dete..

Fariya ki kahani bari mukhtasar thi. Use America aane ka shoq tha. India se aik din bhag ke yahan aa gai. Ghar walo ne rishta tor liya. Yahan rishtedaroN ne mun mor liya. Ab akeli thi. Womens' hostel main rehti thi aur akele akele job kerti thi. Kehti thi paise jama ker rahi hun. Kuch paise ho jaain to college jaun gi. Magar mujeh us ki kahani main koi interest na tha. Aesi kahanian un dinoN roz hi America main sunne milti thi. Mujeh to us ki bus muskurahat bari piyari lagti thi. Jis chahat se coffee banati aur jis piyar se woh logoN ko 'serve' kerti - cancer ke dardnak marz main mubtla mareezoN ko jese nai zindagi de deti.

2 mahine baad main Chicago aa gaya. Us zamane main cell phone to hote nahi the. Chicago se nikalte huwe apni land line main ne disconnect kerwa di thi. Main ne Fariya ko apne hospital ka pager # de diya tha. Is baat ko koi saal guzar gaya aur phir 'from nowhere' Fariya ne mujeh page kiya. Fariya ki awaz bari kamzor thi. Fariya ko renal cell carcinoma ho gaya tha aur usi MD Anderson main ilaj kerwa rahi thi. Kehne lagi: 'Agar zinda na rahun to meri aik amanat kisi ko paunchani hai'. Pehli baar usne apne womens' hostel ka room # mujeh bataya. Meri ICU ki rotation chal rahi thi. Mujeh Houston jaane main mahina lag giya.

Main womens' hostel pauncha to pata chala Fariya hospital main admit hai. Us ne mazeed ilaj kerwane se inkar ker diya tha aur hospice main admit thi. Sir ke baal utar chuke the. Gaalon ki hadiyan bahir nikal aayi thi. Jub main ne use pehli baar dekha to mera dimag sun ho gaya. Ye woh Fariya nahi thi jise main chor ke gaya tha. Saath kursi pe betha to usne apni bag se aik khat nikala. Kehne lagi: "ye khat meri maut ke baad mere parents ko mail ker dena. Andar kuch nahi, muaafi ke do lafz hain". Us ne mujh se poocha: "Main har sunday tumhe phone karungi. Jis sunday mera phone na aaye, samjh lena main ab nahi rahi. Mera ye kaam karoge na?" Main ne kaha: "Nahi". Kehne lagi: "Tum kitne kutte ho na"!

Main ne chalte huwe use bataye bagair nursing station pe apna contact chor diya. Mere Chicago aane ke aik mahine baad Fariya is jahane Fani se kuch ker gai. Main family emergency ka bahana ker ke Houston aaya. Hospice walon ne khud hi funeral ka bandobast ker liya. Paise 'pay' huwe ya nahi maalum nahi - magar Fariya ke funeral main main wahid aadmi tha. Usne kisi rishtedar ya dost ka koi contact nahi chora tha. Shayed woh to sirf muskurahat bantna janti thi dukh nahi. Jub Fariya ko qabar main utar rahe the to mujeh laga uski muskurahat wapas aa gai ho aur mujh se keh rahi ho: "Tum kitne kutte hona. Yahan bhi aa gaye"!

Main ne Fariya ka khat aik choti si tehreer ke saath India mail ker diya. Aaj Fariya ki 15th death anniversary hai. Fariya ki kahani kahin nahi likhi jaaye gi magar jo muskurahat woh logoN ko baantti thi uski khusbu hamesah logoN ke diloN ko mehkati rahe gi.

Yes Fariya I miss you sometimes and yes I do miss your coffee!

Sex and Marriage

If sex is good, marriage is 10% good. If sex is bad 90% of marriage is ruined.

(Read somewhere)

Time - Linear or circular?

Jub hum barwihN jamat (grade 12) main the to hamara aik mazmoon huwa kerta tha - 'Modern physics'. Hamare Physics ke ustad kehte the:

"Hum sochte hain ke 'waqt' sirf aage chalta hai magar is qaainat main 'waqt' dusri tawaniyoN ki tarah har taraf pehla huwa hai. 'Waqt' ka aik daira hai jo 'infinite' hai. Hum sab is 'waqt' main beh rahe hain. Hum aik hi saath - guzri sadioN main bhi rehte hain aur mustaqbil main bhi. Hame is ka aehsas nahi hota magar waqt ke is dhare main - na to hum aage hain aur na hi peeche!"

??

Dil to bachha hai ji

If you like good quality movies - don't miss "Ishqiya" of Naseeruddin Shah, Vidiya Balan and Arshad Warsi (all my 3 favorites are together). Lyrics are from Gulzar. I loved 2 songs from that movie - one "Ibne Batuta - bagal main juta". Listen this other song "Dil to bachha hai" (sung by a Pakistani singer Rahat Fateh Ali Khan)

Chloe

Once I was addicted to movies but than - karobare-zindagi ne fursat kum ker di. But still if I get chance I go and see movies. This weekend I had a cousin visiting and we went to see sexually charged canadian thriller "Chloe" (Warning: It has lesbian content too). But once you get over with sexual parts - underlying few themes of movie are very strong and very life related.

Mid life crisis is a very real thing and it may strike you very hard - doesn't matter how successful you are in worldly matters. Secondly, spousal relationship is based more on communication than anything. Once communication starts evaporating, trust and love goes out fast AND when both of these strike together - human mind end up doing bizarre thing like a very normal human being end up sleeping with her/his own gender!

Another theme touched very subtly in this movie reminded me of a sufism - ishq ki inteha chahta hun. Chloe end up sleeping with her lover's son because his eyes and lips reminded her of lover.....

chloe trailer

P.S: If you like psychological thrillers - than don't miss Shutter Island - Its a must see

Laaii Hayat Aaye Qaza le chali chale

One of my all time breathtaking ghazal of Ustad Ibrahim Zauq sung so well by Bhupinder Singh. It has real human psychological reaction towards death. One shair of this ghazal is my favorite which is not in video

Kum honge is bisat pe hum jese bud-qimar

jo chaal hum chale so nihayat buri chale

What not to do

Zindagi main aksar "Kiya kerna chahiye" se ziyada ye janna zaroori hai ke "kiya nahi kerna chahiye"

(Sometime in life its more important to know "What not to do" than to know "What to do").

Troubles of Muslims

On troubles of muslims I think this is the best quote I ever heard:

"Hamara har safar madine ki taraf shuru hota hai aur hum har dafa kufe ki taraf ja nikalte hain" - Urdu short story writer Intizar Hussain

7 uncles, liver failure and 'Mayyat ki izzat'

On Medicine, Cultural barriers and Ethics.

"My last uncle (mamu) died today. I had 7 uncles (Mamus). My first uncle died at age of 42 when I was 7 years old and than later one by one each died every 5 to 7 years in line. One of my uncle was computer engineer and he moved to USA years ago. He was diagnosed of liver failure when he died. Later in Pakistan 3 uncles died of same diagnosis. None were alcoholic and interestingly all workup turned negative on youngest uncle but he died today with same diagnosis. He complained of fever, headache and not feeling well for few days. Thats it! On his death I suggested taking his liver out and send to Pathology. If we get diagnosis we may save a whole lot of people in next generation. For me it was a no brainer but elders in family refused on the ground that "Bhai hum mayyat ki behurmati nahi kerwa sakte" .

Children of a lesser God

Life is not fair. This blog is about how life presents differently to different people. Following is taken from internet. Without comment.

" I am the oldest of five children by four different fathers. My mother emotionally and physically abused all of us, but I received special attention. She told me how worthless I was and how much she hated me. When I was 12, my mother put the two youngest children up for adoption. I was placed in foster care and have had little contact with the family. I'm now happily married and have a successful career and caring friends. Through much introspection and the assistance of a good therapist, I have been at peace for many years—until recently. The two siblings who were placed for adoption found me a few months ago through a social-networking Web site. It turns out they have been in constant communication with my mother for several years. Neither of them recalls their early life, and I am hesitant to talk about it. I haven't heard much from the brother, but the sister calls frequently. She desperately wants us to be one big happy family. I have repeatedly told her that can't happen. Conversations with her leave me depressed, and I've started avoiding her calls. Childhood memories have resurfaced. I find myself caught up in that "worthless loop," and then I feel guilty for not being able to let bygones be bygones. The siblings and I don't have anything in common besides blood. What do I owe them? How do I handle this?

—Not in the Family Way"

Source: here

3 Rules

I am lucky in the sense that I met many interesting people in life (or probably I have this psychological dyslexia of noticing them more). When we were in grade 6, we had a relatively young teacher. On first day he told his 3 rules in class......

Rule no. 1 - "I Rule"
Rule no. 2 - "When I speak, no one else speak"
Rule no. 3 - "When you speak, only you speak"

(Is class main sirf mera qanoon chale ga. Jub main bolunga to sirf main bolun ga magar jub aap bolain ge tub sirf aap bolain ge)

tazad!

Ye bhi aik ajeeb baat hai. Aik hi ghar main rehne wale do bachhe - aik hi school, aik hi ustad, aik hi waaldain, aik hi bhai bahen, aik hi mohalla, aik hi yaar dost, aik hi mahol - magar aik bachha bara ho ker Daheriya (atheist) ho jaata hai aur dusre ko mazhab ka heza ho jaata hai.

What kind of difference have I made!

One of my all time favorite movie: "About Schmidt". Following scene of Jack Nicholson has been regarded as one of his best work done. Indeed it is worth listening!




"Dear Ndugu,- you'll be glad to know that Jeannie's wedding came off without a hitch. Right now, she and Randall are on their way to sunny Orlando,- on my nickle, of course. As for me, I'm headed back to Omaha. I'm driving straight through this time, and I've made only one stop. The impressive new archer over the interstate in Corney, Nebraska. An arch that commemorates the courage and determination of - the pioneers who cross the state on their way west. You've really got to see it to believe it. And it... kind of got me thinking, - looking at all that history and, reflecting on the achievement - of people long ago kind of...put things into perspective. My trip to Denver, for instance is so insignificant compared to - the journeys that others have taken, - the bravery that they have shown, - the hardships they've endured. I know we are all pretty small in the big scheme of things. And I supposed the most you can hope for - is to make some kind of difference. What... what kind of difference have I made? What in the world is better because of me? When I was out in Denver, I tried to do the right thing,- tried to convince Jeannie, she was...making a big mistake but...I failed. Now she is married to that lincoln poop and there is nothing I can do about it. I am... weak. And I am a failure. There is just no getting around it. Relatively soon, I will die. Maybe in 20 years... maybe tomorrow...It doesn't matter. Once I am dead, and everyone who knew me dies too, a little - be as though I never even existed. What difference is my life made to anyone ? None that I can think of. None... at all. Hope things are fine with you. Yours truly... Warren Schmidt.

Master Ayub!

The ability to say No!

I took my son for Karate class. As they finished their class they all have free packets of juice. My son bypassed the table to exit. I ask him to get juice box. He said: "No!'. I insisted again: "Take it beta! its free". He again said: "No!". His karate teacher was standing there. He interjected: "Its good. He knows to say No!"

survivor

Fareed Khan se meri mulaqat Chicago main hui. Koi 3 baras meri Fareed Khan se salam dua rahi. Ajeeb hi rang ka aadmi tha.

Kubhi T shirt pahen ke Chicago ki sardi main nikal parta. Bus na aati to paidal hi meeloN chal leta. Gas station ki naukri chuti to 'cab' chalani shuru ker di. Kuch dinoN baad kisi posh restaurant main 'bartender' ho gaya. Jitni sharab pila do hawas gum nahi hota. Ji kerta to charas (weed) bhi pi leta. Magar saath hi kisi roz masjeed main imamat kerne wala na milta to ye bhi ker deta. Angrezi bolta to pata na lagta ke peshawar se aaya hai. Aap ne idhar challenge kiya aur dusre roz lurki uske saath coffee pi rahi hai.

Aik din kafi lurke saath jama ho gaye aur raat sone ki jagah na mili to kitchen ke farsh pe aaram se so gaya. Aik din shor macha diya ke 'Ab sab bahir niklo bhook lagi hai'. Hum McDonald se drive thru le ker nikle to apna bag homeless ko thama diya aur phir poore din shikayat na ki ke bhook lagi hai.....Hum se aksar kehta: Is bhook, piyas, sardi, garmi, bimari wagera pe ziyada dhiyan nahi dena chahiye zindagi ka maza kharab ho jaata hai!

Zindagi main yahi hasrat rahi ke kisi roz phir mulaqat ho to us se poochun ke Zindagi main aese kis kare waqt se guzra - ke ab use koi mushkil - mushkil nahi lagti - bulke use zindagi aik khel lagti thi. Baqol Ghalib

Ranj se khugar hua insaN to mit jata hai ranj
mushkileiN mujh par pari itni ke asaN ho gain

Security

I gave a bedtime story to my daughter of pretty princess taken away by evil and dragons to 'Koh-Qaff' and rescued by a good hearted magician. I thought she is sleeping. But after 30 minutes I saw her eyes wide open and she is starring at wall. Here is the conversation:

"Gurya! you didn't sleep?"
"Can I ask you something"
"Sure, anything for my princess"
"Am I pretty?"
"Of course! you are the most pretty girl"
"So I will be taken away by evil and dragons?"
"Hmmmm. Even if evil and dragons come to get you, Daddy will always be there to protect you..."
"Promise?"
"Pakka promise. 100%"

There was a sense of relief on her face and I found her sleeping in 2 minutes.....

Sab se bara dukh?

Hum sab dost jub is 'saturday night' saath mil bethe to guftagu is sawal pe chal nikli ke, 'duniya ka sab se bara dukh kiya hai?'

Main ne kaha - Aulad ki bimari ya aulad ke mar jaane ka dukh,
kisi ne kaha - Ma baap ki bimari ka dukh,
kisi ne kaha - apne apahaj (handicap) ho jaane ka dukh,
Kisi ne kaha - apne hi burhape ka dukh,
kisi ne kaha - tanhaii ka gum
kisi ne kaha - ishq ka dukh

raat 2 baje tuk sab par ke so rahe magar koi faisla na huwa....

Asim Butt - 2

(From Ahsan Butt)

We are working to document and catalogue Asim’s work and require the help of his friends and all those who communicated with, loved and respected him. Please share whatever you can about him and his work, specifically communication you had with him including letters and emails no matter how trivial, pictures, notes, description of his work which you own, and any other information which would help us in putting together a comprehensive account of his life and work. We realise many might not feel comfortable sharing personal communications if they contain personal references, but any such correspondence is not for publication or dissemination and will only be used, if necessary, to derive an idea of the thinking which went into the making of his art. To ensure Asim is accorded his rightful place in the pantheon of Pakistani artists, and to show just how much we all loved him, please help us in preserving his memory for posterity.

Ali Dayan Hasan
ali.asimicus@gmail.com

Arif Pervaiz
arifpervaiz@gmail.com

kashtiyaN

Mujeh ye baat samjhne main bohat waqt laga ke kiun Tariq bin Ziyad ne apni saari kashtiyaN jala di thi!