An interesting question

Stuck between "Naseh" and "chara-saaz"

Mirza Ghalib ne kha tha

Ye kahaN ki dosti hai ke bane hain dost naseh
Koi chara-saaz hota, koi gum-gusaar hotaa

Meri saari zindagi ye khawhish rahi ke main Thomas Hardy ke novel, "Far From The Madding Crowd" ke kirdar 'Gabriel Oak'  jesa dost ban sakun - magar 'Naseehat' aur 'charasaazi' ke darmiyaan itni patli lakeer hai ke us pul-siraat se guzarna aksar na-mumkin ho jaata hai.

Meri zindagi main aese kai moR aaye jab kai dost mere paas gum-gusaari ke liye aa ke bethe magar - aik dost ke naate - mere liye zaroori tha - ke main unhe talkh baat kehta - unhe unki galtioN ka idraaK dilaane ki koshish kerta. Isi chakkar main kai dostiaN toot gai.

Kisi ne aik aam si, be-wazni nazam aaj forward ki thi - magar sach hi hai

Galata Tower

Mere auto mechanic ka taaluq Istanbul se hai. Choti si dukan hai. Imandar aadmi hai. Main gaari ke chote mote kaam usi se kerwa leta hun. Hum use 'Jibran' bulatey hain.

Main ne zindagi ke baRe baRe sabaq kitaboN ki bajaaye aam insaaon se sikhay hain - ke insaan hi is kaainat ki sab se bari kitab hai.

Kal Jibran ne mujeh bataya ke woh 2 hafte ke liye Istanbul ja raha hai. Main ne yunhi rawani main kaha: "You just went there last year. And, if I am not mistaken you were there a year before too". 

Jibran hasne laga aur phir us ne mujeh ye kahani sunaii:

"I was born and raised in Istanbul. I got married and had kids while in Istanbul. I was an extremely ambitious person. I did well in my career and made good money before I reached 30. I wanted to make more money. I sold my business and moved to the USA. But still, I had some payment to come from my sold business. The guy who bought my business started giving me a runaround. I had to call every other day, and when that didn't work, I had to personally go there a few times - but to no avail. Over time, I got angry and furious, as it was a huge amount of money. My wife, friends, and family advised me to let it go as I was doing well in the USA - but now it was more a fight of ego, a sense of getting conned, and revenge. One day, I started having the idea of killing or physically harming that person. That night, I dreamed that I was at the top of the Galata Tower (an Istanbul landmark) with my two kids - and though I was there holding them, one after another, my kids slipped from my arms despite holding them tight and fell from the tower. I see their bodies dead on the floor from the top of the tower. The impact of that dream was so intense that I was unable to function for 2/3 days. Turkey is a sufi land of Hazrat Rumi. I took this as a divine message that my actual assets are my kids, that revenge will eventually hurt me, and that money does not matter. As soon as I understood that, I was all calm - and since that day, I have never worried about losing money. I travel to Istanbul every year to see my family and sit near Galata Tower, sipping Turkish apple chai and reminding myself of that one important lesson of life. You can call it my annual spiritual pilgrimage."

*

'Keep Moving'

As they say in Africa: "When an old man dies, a library burns to the ground with him."

My initial inspiration for writing stories, learning lessons of life, and thinking out of the box came from my Nana (maternal grandfather). I used to spend hours and hours just sitting and listening to him. To make a long story short, I still get excited when I hear older people sharing lessons from their lives. In this regard, my favorite article is from Khushwant Singh HERE.

A week ago, I enjoyed reading Dick Van Dyke's book 'Keep Moving' on a similar theme. He is now almost 90 and thinks the following five things matter in life.

1. Family and Friends - particularly children.

2. Habit to Question things, concepts, and curiosities around

3. Appreciation of good Music and the ability to dance to it

4. Reading and having books

5. A good sense of humor

I loved his comment: "Collect experiences, not memories." (Take away lesson for me from his book).

I honestly believe that good sleep and good dreams are essential for the healthy psyche of any human. He says forgiveness is the best sleeping pill at a philosophical level, but pragmatically, if you write down your to-do list for the next day (or try to write down your emotions) on paper, it will make you light, and you will sleep better.

I have been writing diary since the age of 19, and this practice has helped me.

*

On "Fiction Literature"

I absolutely subscribe and sold to fiction for following reason:

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” ― Neil Gaiman

On "women's intuition"

Somebody forwarded following quote to me and I tend to agree with Rudyard Kipling!!

On "sorrows of a widow"

"Don't you know that widows or divorced women often have children by the new husband, which resemble the old one?"

A powerful line from 'He Who  Gets Slapped" - a  classic century old American drama and film, actually an adaptation from Russian literature.

On life and her stories

As I came back to town after Thanksgiving - I was shocked to know that uncle of one of my very close friends is dying in hospital. He was healthy, wealthy, walking, talking, and a kind of arrogant man who was full of pride till two days ago. When I saw him in ICU surrounded by machines and many drips, I shared my shock with one of my friends; he texted back following to me:

 "Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." --Macbeth from "The Tragedy of Macbeth" (Act V, Scene V).

 On a similar note - as people many times ask - what drives me to write human stories, here is the simple answer

*

On "Facebook updates"

I have been culprit of this. I have my load of difference with Ashfaq sahab but I have extreme high respect for his thoughts on many matters. I learned a lot from following

Do not stand at my grave and weep

Read here on wikipedia on origin of this famous poem

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there; I do not sleep

I am a thousand winds that blow

I am the diamond glints on snow

I am the sunlight on ripened grain

I am the gentle autumn rain

When you awaken in the morning’s hush 

I am the swift uplifting rush 

Of quiet birds in circled flight

I am the soft stars that shine at night

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there; I did not die

On "Misery and Beauty of Travel"

Due to various reasons, I got stuck in unknown and undesired places a few times during my travels. Though very frustrating, in retrospect, I value those times. As I had no option but to regurgitate my feelings, I sat back, examined my life, and tried to judge it as a third person from far.

Once stuck in a tiny small town of upstate New York due to massive snow, I had the most peaceful dinner (steak cooked by an older man) under very dim light at a small eatery adjacent to a motel. It was nothing but serenity in my heart - the steak was tender, the silence was priceless, and the moonlight after the snow was magical. The next day, I had to walk to a small store in foot deep snow to buy food. A mother and her little girls ran the store. Happiness on their faces to find a customer told me how important it is for people to pay bills on time. It was a very humbling experience.

 Driving through Alabama, my car broke down, and I had to wait three days in a tiny town. I had no choice but to sit on the balcony all day and read a book - and watch people going on with their life. It dawned on me that we all are just characters on a TV screen. The script is indeed written somewhere else. I became less judgemental of people since then.

 When I had a two-month gap between my residency and board exam, I took a road trip and drove I-90 across the continent from West to East Coast. On the first night, as I entered Idaho, I was exhausted. I stopped by at a small gas station. I saw a sign of "psychic." He gave me graphic details of my life for the next 20 years. Many of them turned out to be very real and in the same manner!

 Not very long ago, two old hostesses of not a very fancy 'Bed and Breakfast' in a small town in France fought with a taxi driver as I missed my train as he didn't arrive on time. They forced him to drive me to the train station for free.

 I encountered good and bad people, but I found humans helping and of good heart in general. The family has opened doors on me in the pitch darkness of the massive wilderness of Indiana. In Ottowa, a bartender has cooked fresh-cut fries for me knowing I am hungry. Denny's waitress had let go of half my bill in Kentucky as I was short on money, and my credit card didn't work. It was in Turkey that I was served free breakfast only because I was from Pakistan! I have people buying a subway ticket for me in Quebec as I struggled with the machine due to the language barrier. I had the best samosas of my life in the far land of Tanzania. Forget humans; I had bears on the highway staring at me but let me pass without harm.

 I have no regrets of unkind hosts, harsh weather, getting mugged (once), missed flights, broken car, long lines, dirty motels, sleeping in rest areas, etc. - as these all made me witness the beauty of humanity from very near.

*

On "not valuing eternal moments"

As, I was cleaning my old emails, there was a years years old email sitting there. I am glad it was still there to remind me that we are cruel people. We never value present eternal moments of life at those given moments (Idea behind this post). I wish, I have understood the beauty of heart of another person at that given moment. I lament my kamzarfi of not to appreciate beauty of those moments as they happen. We are idiots, at least I am.

When I left the town after residency and went back to re-visit. One woman I adored a lot. We realized we cannot be together due to our religious, family, color, language, cultural and circumstantial differences.

It has some explicits. Read at your own risk but I believe explicits is the beauty of this letter.


"Strange thoughts. It is like you never came. And when you were here, it was like you never left. Fuck you, doctor. All my frustration of not being touched by you just merges into one word. Fuck you. You and your touch. You inside me. The pressure of your body on my body. The weight. I never knew simple lovemaking is so good. The look of your face when you are about to climax. The constant kissing. Your eyes. I think unlike as you were with me before, we did not talk as much as I would like us to. Your hands. Doctor, it was domestic almost. We getting ready to go out. I was wearing make up, you were changing clothes, I was correcting your collar. Fuck you. Just fuck you. 

The sex was like movie kind of sex. In the middle of all the lovemaking, the idea that you may not love me the way I love you. That my emotions for you are may be too strong for you to handle. It makes me feel strange that actual physical part of lovemaking can be so good. That it can sustain for more than few minutes. That somebody can devour my breasts. That I can kiss you for hours. That I can climax twice in a day without self-pleasure. Fuck you. You are a motherfucker. Touch my arms. Touch my back. I could taste my vagina, the smell in your mouth. The kiss on the lake. Just fucking disappear. I should have ask you about normal things like flight, weather, family, work. And you will forget me and my touch. But I will not forget. I will not forget. Before, I missed you more than your touch. This time, I will miss your touch more than you. You are an asshole. I hate you. The rage that I feel inside is overfuckingwhelming.

So angry. Cannot live with you, cannot live without you. A kiss on the side of lake, a touch of hands while sitting together, having a hot chocolate. Dreaming of living with you in the sun."

On La of Ilaha!

"Khuda ke raaste ka musafir banne ke liye khuda ko manna zaroori nahi" 

Jab ye baat main logon se kehta hun to log mujeh hairat se dekhte hain - magar ye sach hai

Ilaha ki rah main lailaha ki kai mazilain aati hain, shakook ke samandar aur be-yaqeeni ki waseeh khaleejain haail hoti hain - kaa'baa o kalisaa ki kashmakash chalti rehti hai - Us se ghabraane ki ya gunah ka aehsas rakhne ki zaroorat nahi - It is absolutely normal!

Bande ka kaam sirf chalna hai - Sach ki talab agar raasikh ho to ye manzilain guzar jaati hain.

Ilaha ka suraj lailaha ke andheroN main hi chamkta hai

Maryam

Jab peechle saal main Rome ja raha tha to Elsa (my co-worker) ne mujh se kaha mere liye Bibi Maryam ke naam ki tasbeeh (rosary) le aana. Jab main wapas aaya to usne mujh se poocha: "Tumhe Vatican main sab se achha kiya laga?"

Main ne Jawab diya: "Maryam ke naam ki tasbeeh"

To hasne lagi aur kehne lagi: "Tum to Vatican ja ker bilkul hi isaaii ho gaye ho?"

Main ne kaha: "Ye baat nahi....magar jun jun meri umar guzarti ja rahi hai...main sochta hun Ibne maryam to saare zamane ke dukhoN ka madawa kerta tha - magar Maryam apni aulad pe hota zulm dekh ker jis dukh aur karb se guzarti hogi, to us bechaari ke aansu kaun paunchta hoga....."

On word "Whore"

On my one previous post (here), 'Beyond' wrote a comment. I agree completely and don't feel like adding anything except to answer that probably we use monogamy as a tool to treat our insecurities.

 "I feel sad for a whore in any case. The term itself is very derogatory towards female gender. There is no male equivalent for men in common language. The idea that a woman will know men better if she has sold herself physically is revolting. It may be true but paints a very bleak picture of this world. Why is the idea of marriage so appealing to masses? If a woman is with several men, it is considered a taboo. If she is married to a man, all is well. Monogamy makes us very comfortable. Please blog about it mystic, someday."

Clay pots

For the longest time, I remained curious about the fascination of artists with clay pots. Once, a priest told me that bible symbolises human souls in bodies, similar to perseverance of treasures in clay pots. I came across the following quote and felt like sharing.

Walmart

If you want to destroy a community, culture or a town - built walmart there.

Maujeeza

Log kehte hain paani pe chalna maujiza hai, magar main kehta hun - 
jeese zameen pe chalne ka saliqa aa gaya use maujeeza mil gaya

~ Annonymous

One ER doc

(A conversation with one of my desi ER colleague)

"Tum itne pur-sakoon kese rehte ho?"

"Jab poora din ER main logon pe yak-dum aane wali aafton se nipat ker ghar aata hun, to ghanton sochta rehta hun ke insaan ki zindagi kese aik lamhe main badal jaati hai. Saari kahanian, saath khaRe ghar wale, unke aansu....... Sab ko lagta hai pur-sakoon hun magar andar toofan chal raha hota hai"

On 'Ultra-short stories' - 2

On one of my previous post on 'ultra-short stories', (here) someone left a short but a powerful comment

~ my two words story "she lived"  ~