Forgiving oneself

Jab tak insaan main khud ko muaaf kerne ki salahiyyat na aaye, woh dusroon ko muaaf nahi ker paata!

On 'Maslow's hierarchy of needs'

Kristine Boston main meri landlord thi. Kristine ki umar 85 saal ke lag bhag thi.  Isi house main kamre kriye pe de ker guzara kerti thi. Ye house Kiristine ne apni mehnat ki kamaaii se jawani ke dino main khareeda tha. Kristine ne kabhi shadi nahi ki. Na hi hamare saamne kabhi church gai. Kristine Boston University main retirement tak nursing paRhati rahi. 

December ki shadeed barfani raat thi. Main lobby main betha girti baraf ko dekh raha tha. Dil pe aik ajeeb sa gubar chaya tha - koi baat thi jo andar hi andar udaas ker rahi thi.

Kristine ne aa ker mujeh Cappuccino ka cup diya. Aur hum bagair kuch baat kiye baraf dekhte rahe. Kuch der baad Kristine ne mujeh se poocha: "Kiya soch rahe ho?"

Main ne Kristine se kaha: "Sochta hun ye baraf bikul Maslow ke pyramid jesi hoti hai". 

Kristine ne mujh se kaha: "Zindagi ka koi falsafa, koi theory, koi pyramid nahi hota. Tumhare Maslow ke pyramid main jo love hai woh kabhi meri biyaz se na guzra. Meri ma mere paida hote hi mujeh hospital main choR ke bhag gai. Main foster houses main pali barhi. Har tarah ke abuse bardasht kiye. Zindagi main meri aik baat yaad rakhna - zindagi bus hoti hai - kabhi to bachpan ke ghao der tak saath chalte hain - aur kabhi kal ki baat yaad nahi rehti. Main dekhti hun, tum zindagi ki soch main bohat waqt zaya kerte ho. Zindagi ka koi maqsad nahi hota, siwaye is ke, ke use imandari se ji liya jaaye - yahi sab se bari ibadat hai".

Kristine ye sab keh ker chali gai - aur main phir baraf bari dekhte zindagi ki soch main gum ho gaya. Aaj Kristine ne cappuccino kuch ziyada hi tez bana di thi.

Urdu and Immigrants

From the sharp ink of Dr. Shabih Manzar in the USA (read at his facebook page)

مادری زبان

 “یہ سب تمہارا قصور ہے

 “اب یہ کہاں کا انصاف ہے کہ بچے اگر امریکہ میں پلے بڑھیں اور اردو نہ بولیں تو ماں کا قصور ہے؟ ” اکیلی عورت کیا کیا کرے۔ دیگر علاقائی زبانیں اور قومی زبانیں تو ماں سے منسوب نہیں پھر اردو کیوں؟

اردو ایک علاقائی اور قومی زبان ہے امریکن بچوں کا اس سے کیا لینا دینا۔ اب زور زبردستی کرکے اردو سکھائیں گے تو نتیجہ کچھ اچھا تو نہ ہوگا۔ ہندی فلموں کی بدولت تھوڑی بہت اردو بچی ہوئی ہے ورنہ تو کب کی مر گئی ہوتی۔ ماں سے گلہ کرنا کہ اس نے زبان نہیں سکھائی یہ غلط بات ہے۔

 زبان کو مرتا دیکھ کر افسوس تو ہوتا ہی ہے مگر یہی ارتقاء ہے۔ کس نے کہا ہے کہ ہجرت آسان ہے۔ نہ کوئی زمین ماں تھی اور نہ اردو مادری زبان۔ 

 بس پہلی نسل زبان کو سنبھالے رکھتی ہے۔ محبت کہیں یا مجبوری۔ یہی ہے سچ کہ 

  .......تھی اردو کبھی زباں اپنی

 پرانے پیڑ پہ تھا آشیاں محبت کا

 ش۔م

The first 50 years

Pakistani Aam

Peechli post pe jin Haji Sahab ka zikar kiya tha, woh 35 baras se USA main hain magar har saal garmion main Pakistan jaate hain.

Main ne poocha: "Haji bhai! har saal aap garmion main Pakistan jaate hain. Log sardion main jaate hain. Kiya rishtedaron se milne jaate hain? ke unke bachhon ki chuttian hon to mulaqatain ho wagera wagera?"

Jawab diya: "Arey bhai hum to Pakistani aam khane jaate hain. Jise SindhRi, Tonsa aur LangRa aam mil jaaye, use rishtedaroN ka kiya kaam"!

Dheeme mizaj ke log

Haji Sahab, 35 saal se America main hain. Aksar mulaqat ho jaati hai. Kam-go hain. Eid milan party pe phir mulaqat hui. Kisi baat pe discussion ho rahi thi. UnhoN ne baRi khubsurat baat kahi:

"Main ne Quran ko, Bible ko, Torah ko, Veda ko aur kai ilhami kitaboN ko paRa hai - aur kaii baar paRha hai - main ne seekha hai ke - Khuda kisi bhi mazhab ka ho, use dheeme mizaj ke log pasand hain".

Food

(one of my 90 years old patient)

"I think there is only one true religion in this world and that is food. A human will compromise any value to find food for his or her dependents and maybe for himself or herself".

Ibne-Safi's poetry

As I wrote previously, no other writer shaped my personality more than Ibne-Safi. He debuted his Urdu career by doing traditional poetry. Later, he made a conscious decision to write Urdu thrillers after challenging his co-mates to contribute something substantial for society through literature. His original name was Israr. He was from small city named Nara near Allahabad, India. His poetic name was Israr Narwi. He was a poet of par excellence and was ham-asar at Allahabad university to Mustafa Zaidi. One of his classic

راہِ طلب میں کون کسی کا ، اپنے بھی بیگانے ھیں

‎چاند سے مُکھڑے ، رَشکِ غزالاں ، سب جانے پہچانے ھیں

‎تنہائی سی تنہائی ھے ، کیسے کہیں ، کیسے سمجھائیں

‎چشم و لب و رخسار کی تہ میں ، رُوحوں کے ویرانے ھیں

‎اُف یہ تلاشِ حسن و حقیقت ، کس جا ٹھہریں ، جائیں کہاں 

‎صحنِ چمن میں پُھول کِھلے ھیں ، صحرا میں دیوانے ھیں

‎ھم کو سہارے کیا راس آئیں ، اپنا سہارا ھیں ھم آپ

‎خود ھی صحرا ، خود ھی دِوانے ، شمع نفس پروانے ھیں

‎بالآخر تھک ھار کے یارو ! ھم نے بھی تسلیم کیا 

‎اپنی ذات سے عِشق ھے سچا ، باقی سب افسانے ھیں

‎"اِبنِ صَفی"

Kirdar ki aazmaish

So true.

A different view on Lailtul Qadar

This post is in no way to question anyone's belief. This is just another view on Lailtul Qadar (LQ) from a Sufi perspective. This came up quite a few times in discussion with friends.

Lailtul Qadar is not a given night in the month of Ramadhan. Instead, it is a dynamic moment where and when a single soul unites with the universal soul. Whenever that special spiritual moment occurs to a soul, it becomes Lailtul Qadar.

Surah Qadar neither clarifies what was revealed on LQ nor it mentions the month of Ramadhan. But it does speak of universal soul (Ruh) along with angels (malaik) to arrive with the absolute order (kule amar) of All Mighty. When it happens, time becomes relative, as it says: it is better than 1000 nights.

Such experience of spiritual unity has been described by many mystics from all sorts of religions and beliefs and all across the history of humankind. Restricting it to the revelation of the Quran would be a very narrow explanation, as the Quran was revealed over 23 years.

Someone put another interesting perspective. When God says: What you know about LQ (wa ma adraka ma lailtul qadar), we can put forward all kind of explanations and scratch our head, but will never know the actual meaning of it.

On - History of Sikh Turban

"Aurangzeb attempted to prevent non-Muslims from wearing turbans, decreeing that only the Islamic ruling class had the authority to wear them. But this, along with forced conversions and other fundamentalist policies, sat uncomfortably with the growing Sikh population. When their leader Guru Tegh Bahadur was executed by Aurangzeb in Delhi, his son Gobind founded a warrior group known as the Khalsa, before insisting that all Sikhs wear turbans to cover their uncut hair. The turban had become an act of defiance against the emperor. It was the Sikhs' sign of freedom, a symbol of equality and a way to end caste distinctions."

Interesting article at CNN: click at From Mesopotamia to West London, a 4,000-year history of the turban


Link url: https://www.cnn.com/style/article/turbans-tales-history/index.html

Human, ADHD and Heaven

I have found it (paradoxically) entertaining that many orthodox religious people sometimes make funny statements regarding religion, which are usually not expected from them.

One Jewish Rabbi once told me a hilarious but dirty joke regarding circumcision.  A priest in one of the hospitals I worked previously used to tell interesting jokes regarding Jesus. I have heard amusing lines in Satguru videos. (Despite controversies he is a remarkable sage).

In one of the Iftar this month, an orthodox Muslim (kind of Imam) read surah Tobah from Quran. As he mentioned that one of the blessings of Toba is the heaven where a person may live forever, he added: "Though I doubt, humans will be able to tolerate peaceful heaven forever due to their ADHD nature"!

Uber Drivers

I always enjoy talking to uber drives as most of them are driving uber as part time to make their ends meet. In the last few years, I met several students, retirees, a refugee from Rwanda genocide, and many many interesting human beings - men and women. I learned immensely from their lives and experiences.

Last week I was out of town and had to rely on uber to avoid parking in the downtown area. This middle-aged man told me his story:

"I was laid off after 30 years working in a telecommunication company as they decided to close landlines. As I drove my car out of the parking lot, I didn't want to go home and tell my wife. I didn't know what else I can do in my life as for 30 years; I did one work set under a given protocol. As I was parked on the side of the road not knowing what to do, someone tapped on my window and asked: "are you, my uber driver?" I said: "No, Sir! I don't drive uber". The gentleman walked away, and I said to myself here you go! Let's drive uber."

Then he added: "Sometimes, people come in our life for a few seconds, but I believe for that given moment they are angels send from heaven."

Adam, Eve and Divorce

Once a divorce attorney told me an interesting thing: "I found that most of the divorce happened when families get involved in a divorce. If you leave a man and a woman alone for a while without any comment/suggestion/intervention, they tend to stay together, as Adam and Eve did despite their debacle in paradise".

Let's enjoy Kishore Kumar on the same note

Youtube link: https://youtu.be/8ECENCxFWDk  if video does not play here

Dinesh Mohan's incredible story

Koi aap ki aulad le jaaye, phir woh wapas aaye, aap nai mohabbat ke taane baane bunain - aur woh piyara aap ki zindagi se chala jaaye........

(closed captioning is available in case you want to read the transcript)

Men and Women

The symposium, Aflaton (Plato) ki aik aesi kitab hai jo falsfe ki kitab kam aur shayer ka bayan ziyada lagti hai. 

“According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.”

 ― Plato in The Symposium (a wonderful read of love, lust, logic, and philosophy of death in the context of Greek God Eros)

The book is available @ 

https://emory.instructure.com/courses/4642/files/1196/download?wrap=1

Note: It has some discussions about homosexuality

Amrita Preetum says

" ﻣﯿﺮﯼ ﺳﺐ ﺳﮯ ﭘﮩﻠﯽ ﺑﻐﺎﻭﺕ ﮐﭽﻦ ﺳﮯ ﺷﺮﻭﻉ ﮨﻮﺋﯽ ﺗﮭﯽ  ﺩﯾﮑﮭﺘﯽ ﺗﮭﯽ، ﺑﺎﻭﺭﭼﯽ ﺧﺎﻧﮧ ﮐﯽ ﺍﯾﮏ ﭘﮍﭼﮭﺘﯽ ﭘﺮ ﺗﯿﻦ ﮔﻼﺱ، ﺑﺎﻗﯽ ﺑﺮﺗﻨﻮﮞ ﺳﮯ ﺍﻟﮓ ﺗﮭﻠﮓ، ﮨﻤﯿﺸﮧ ﺍﯾﮏ ﮐﻮﻧﮯ ﻣﯿﮟ ﭘﮍﮮ ﺭﮨﺘﮯ ﺗﮭﮯ . ﯾﮧ ﮔﻼﺱ ﺻﺮﻑ ﺍﺱ ﻣﻮﻗﻌﮧ ﭘﺮ ﺯﯾﺮﯾﮟ ﭼﮭﺖ ﺳﮯ ﺍﺗﺎﺭﮮ ﺟﺎﺗﮯ ﺗﮭﮯ ﺟﺐ ﻭﺍﻟﺪ ﮐﮯ ﻣﺴﻠﻤﺎﻥ ﺩﻭﺳﺖ ﺁﺗﮯ ﺗﮭﮯ ﺍﻭﺭ ﺍﻥ ﮐﻮ ﻟﺴﯽ ﭼﺎﺋﮯ ﭘﻼﻧﺎ ﮨﻮﺗﯽ ﺍﻭﺭ ﺍﺱ ﮐﮯ ﺑﻌﺪ ﻣﺎﻧﺠﮫ ﺩﮬﻮ ﮐﺮ ﭘﮭﺮ ﻭﮨﯿﮟ ﺭﮐﮫ ﺩﺋﯿﮯ ﺟﺎﺗﮯ ﺗﮭﮯ .... ﺳﻮ ﺗﯿﻦ ﮔﻼﺳﻮﮞ ﮐﮯ ﺳﺎﺗﮫ ﻣﯿﮟ ﺑﮭﯽ ﭼﻮﺗﮭﮯ ﮔﻼﺱ ﮐﯽ ﻃﺮﺡ ﺷﺎﻣﻞ ﮨﻮ ﮔﺌﯽ ﺍﻭﺭ ﮨﻢ ﭼﺎﺭﻭﮞ ﻧﺎﻧﯽ ﮐﮯ ﺳﺎﺗﮫ ﻟﮍ ﭘﮍﮮ .... ﻭﮦ ﮔﻼﺱ ﺑﮭﯽ ﺑﺎﻗﯽ ﺑﺮﺗﻨﻮﮞ ﮐﻮ ﻧﮩﯿﮟ ﭼﮭﻮ ﺳﮑﺘﮯ ﺗﮭﮯ، ﻣﯿﮟ ﻧﮯ ﺑﮭﯽ ﺿﺪ ﭘﮑﮍ ﻟﯽ ﮐﮧ ﻣﯿﮟ ﮐﺴﯽ ﺩﻭﺳﺮﮮ ﺑﺮﺗﻦ ﻣﯿﮟ ﻧﮧ ﭘﺎﻧﯽ ﭘﯿﻮﮞ ﮔﯽ، ﻧﮧ ﺩﻭﺩﮪ ﭼﺎﺋﮯ ..... ﻧﺎﻧﯽ ﺍﻥ ﮔﻼﺳﻮﮞ ﮐﻮ ﺍﻟﮓ ﺭﮐﮫ ﺳﮑﺘﯽ ﺗﮭﯽ ﻣﮕﺮ ﻣﺠﮫ ﮐﻮ ﺑﮭﻮﮐﺎ ﭘﯿﺎﺳﺎ ﻧﮧ ﺭﮐﮫ ﺳﮑﺘﯽ ﺗﮭﯽ، ﺍﺱ ﻟﯿﮯ ﺑﺎﺕ ﻭﺍﻟﺪ ﺗﮏ ﭘﮩﻨﭻ ﮔﺌﯽ . ﻭﺍﻟﺪ ﮐﻮ ﺍﺱ ﺳﮯ ﻗﺒﻞ ﻣﻌﻠﻮﻡ ﻧﮧ ﺗﮭﺎ ﮐﮧ ﮐﻮﺋﯽ ﮔﻼﺱ ﺍﺱ ﻃﺮﺡ ﻋﻠﯿﺤﺪﮦ ﺭﮐﮭﮯ ﺟﺎﺗﮯ ﮨﯿﮟ .ﺍﻥ ﮐﻮ ﭘﺘﮧ ﭼﻼ ﺗﻮ ﻣﯿﺮﯼ ﺑﻐﺎﻭﺕ ﮐﺎﻣﯿﺎﺏ ﮨﻮﺋﯽ . ﭘﮭﺮ ﻧﮧ ﮐﻮﺋﯽ ﺑﺮﺗﻦ ﮨﻨﺪﮦ ﺭﮨﺎ ﻧﮧ ﻣﺴﻠﻢ، ﺍﺱ ﮔﮭﮍﯼ ﻧﮧ ﻧﺎﻧﯽ ﮐﻮ ﻣﻌﻠﻮﻡ ﺗﮭﺎ ﻧﮧ ﻣﺠﮫ ﮐﻮ، ﮐﮧ ﺑﮍﯼ ﮨﻮ ﮐﺮ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﯽ ﮐﮯ ﮐﺌﯽ ﺳﺎﻝ ﺟﻦ ﺳﮯ ﻋﺸﻖ ﮐﺮﻭﮞ ﮔﯽ، ﻭﮦ ﺍﺳﯽ ﻣﺬﮨﺐ ﮐﺎ ﮨﻮ ﮔﺎ ﺟﺲ ﻣﺬﮨﺐ ﮐﮯ ﻟﻮﮔﻮﮞ ﮐﮯ ﻟﯿﮯ ﮔﮭﺮ ﮐﮯ ﺑﺮﺗﻦ ﺑﮭﯽ ﺍﭼﮭﻮﺕ ﺑﻨﺎ ﺩﺋﯿﮯ ﺟﺎﺗﮯ ﺗﮭﮯ"

Consistency vs Intensity

Kisi ne kal aik bohat khubsurat baat kahi:

"It is more important to be consistent than intense"

(Tund hone se mustaqil hona ziyada zaroori hai)

Hamari cheezain

Abba kehte the:

"Jo cheez tumhari hai, woh kho ker bhi mil jaaye gi, chahe phir izzat ho, daulat ho ya koi rozmarra ke istamaal ki cheez".

Abba ki is baat per main hamesah un se bohat behesta tha.

Par ab lagta hai abba theek kehte the. Cheezon ko sambhal sambhal ke rakhne se kuch hasil nahi hota. Agar cheez hamari hai to kho ker bhi mil jaati hai.

Aurat aur Khusbu

Kahin paRha tha: "Aurat mard ko us ki khusbu se yaad rakhti hai"

Kiya ye sach hoga?