Sunday, September 13, 2015
One common literary misunderstanding
Friday, September 11, 2015
Wednesday, September 09, 2015
On 'Wars'
Note: Last week's picture of three-year-old Aylan's dead body at the beach shook the whole world with shock and grief. (I am purposefully not posting that picture). It started a massive exchange of emails between friends. I am posting stories of 2 of my friends who suffered the plight of refugees in the 1971 Pak/India war. I am not writing personal notes, as stories are enough to describe the lifelong psychological miseries of war.
(1)
The image of a Syrian child reminded me of myself. I was five years old when, one night, my father woke me up at 3 in the morning to walk out of our house quietly. We walked for 30 minutes and boarded a bus from Jessore to Khulna to Chittagong, a port in eastern Bangladesh. I was shipped from one hand to another hand to finally board 'safinae arab' (ship from Pakistan). It took 16 days in the Indian Ocean to eventually reach Karachi. I am alive and kicking, but hundreds of thousands perished in 1971. Images of Civil war, blood, army boots, rifles, crying women, screaming children, and dead bodies are as vivid as they were on that day. My childhood is connected to the image of EPR (East Pakistan Rifles) invading our house to search as they suspect we are hiding Bengalis!! (and we did :)) - I was told I spiked a fever that day. All night of March 25, 1971 - there was no electricity. We hear sounds of gunfire in candlelight (My experience of shama har rang main jalti hai). The following day, the 'talao' (lake) in front of our house was full of dead bodies and blood. We had two flags in our home - of Pakistan and of Mukti Bahini - depending on who is in charge of the area. It was interesting - we protected Bengalis, and Bengalis saved us, giving us safe passage (at least earlier in the chaos).
I was born in Karachi. My father made the mistake of sending us to school in East Pakistan as Christian schools were very good for education. I guess he was not competent to read politics. It is unfortunate how West Pakistan was kept in pure darkness. Our relatives in Karachi didn't believe our plight, though they were helpful. Later in the war, there was no distinction between friends and enemies at one point. Mukti Bahini kidnaped my father, and he was almost killed. They only let him go because he spoke Bengali fluently and Urdu in Bombay style. It took three years before my father made it to Karachi.
That image of a Syrian boy brought back thousands of lost pictures, like getting handed from one person to another, as we switched small boats (called launch those days) - finally, it was a big ship. People take pride in war, but human miseries on both sides always take huge tolls and usually go undocumented in history. When a human suffers - ideology, language, culture, and religion lose meaning. --- Jab aurat bazar main jism bechne nikalti hai to poori insaniyat be-maani ho jaati hai (Manto)
(2)
For the first time in 44 years, I am penning something over that traumatic lifetime tragedy. I went through almost identical after the 1971 fall of Dhaka. My father had a solid pro-army reputation and owned a wholesale cloth business. Ironically, Pakistan Cloth House first got burnt in New Market Dhaka with a Pak flag over there. I had vivid images of many horrible events followed by that tragedy. That particular night of December 16, I can recall, we were hiding in the house of our nani's sister, who was married to a Bengali lawyer, the only interracial marriage in our family. Mukti Bahini boys broke in upon hearing some of us Urdu speaking and hiding there. Just that one particular vivid image still brings shivers to my spine. Abbu was on the bed with a blanket up to their head. Ammi opened the door and spoke to those guys in Bengali. One of the boys shouted. There was a wristwatch of abbu shining out of blanket. He fired a bullet, and I started crying. Ammi said something to them again, taking me in her arms, and they left. We survived that night and took shelter in a dargah, not to trouble our hosts. Then it's a long story. We traveled by air to Calcutta from Dhaka, then by road to Patna till we reached the Nepal-Bihar border town, and stayed in Kathmandu for seven months till repatriated by Pak govt and reached Karachi on January 3, 1974, by Afghan airline planes. The last thing I still remember is the large Qandhari apples served by the air hostess!
My father hated the Bengali language, never tried to learn it, and ridiculed my mother because she had mastered it! Luckily, that expertise saved us from our house to the airport, where my other siblings were forcefully kept quiet not to utter any Urdu word. Abbu decided to leave all the property and arranged our exit. Plane taking off from Dhaka airport still gives me heartache, and landing in Karachi airport after nine months via Calcutta, Patna, and Kathmandu is still nostalgic whenever I board or land airplanes. The feeling of being free to speak Urdu when we touched Pakistan airspace is priceless; that's why abbu always insisted that whatever he lost to come to Pakistan meant nothing. He used to say: "Bengali daulat cheen saktain hain, qismat aur aqal nhi." He started here from scratch again. And الحمدللہ علی کل حال.
I never could come out of those images. Though very vivid, the pictures kept on taking shapes with continuous tales heard from grandparents, parents, and older cousins...dead bodies on streets...jiye bangla shouts...arsons...agents (some fake, some actual) taking money to get people across borders...changing residencies...lost childhood. I don't remember playing with toys and growing up by passing those years. I was 8 when we finally reached Pakistan.
When humans suffer in wars, zaban, aqeeda aur watan ki two kori ki auqat nahi rehti aur jaan bachane ke liye log aag ka darya paar ker ke mehfooz jagah dhoondte hain. In any war, the worst sufferers are women and children. Just spot any war in any country and follow the plight of their women and children in the following years. This pic has already made an unprecedented impact, just like in 1972 when a naked Vietnamese girl was made after the US napalm bombing and that dying kid in Darfur who was pictured moments before being eaten by vultures.
*
Monday, September 07, 2015
Sonya
Ye 2004 ki baat hai
Meri residency ke baad pehli job thi. Sonya hamaare hospital ke cafeteria ke kitchen main kaam kerti thi. Uski umar 20-22 se ziyada nahi hogi (Allah jaane ab kahan hai). Main bohat arse tak usko hispanic samjhta raha. Main aksar usko hospital ke bahir tight jeans main cigarette peete huwe dekhta. Aik din hospital main kaam kerte huwe mujeh raat ke 11 baj gaye. Main hospital ki cafeteria main pauncha to sonya kitchen band ker ke safaii ker rahi thi. Mujeh dekh ker Urdu main boli: "Doctor sahab! kitchen to close ker diya. Magar aap betho main kuch le ker aati hun."
Sonya mere liye andar se grilled cheese sandwich aur chicken noodle soup le aayi.
Sonya se main ne kaha: "Tum desi ho? Mujeh to spanish lagti ho". Woh samjh gai main ye baat uski jeans ke hawale se keh raha hun.
Usne mujeh bataya ke woh UK main aik Pakistani ghar main paida hui. Usi ke hawale se pehli baar mujeh UK main basne wale PakistanioN ki halate-zaar ka pata laga ke kese bohat saare Pakistani welfare pe aik ghetto - below the line of poverty - zindagi guzar rahe hain. Sonya ne aese hi ghutan ke mahol main aankh kholi. Us ne saara bachpan aik ke baad dusre 'foster homes' main guzara. Na to school theek naseeb hui aur na hi koi college. 19 baras ki hui to koi lalach de ker Chicago le aaya magar uski niyyat koi aur kaam kerwane ki thi. Sonya women shelter main chali gai aur phir kisi tarah hamare hospital main job kerne lagi.
Sonya ki kahani sun ker main ne kaha: "Tumhe gussa nahi aata?"
Usne jawab diya: "Jab mere Allah ne mere liye aik cheez likh di hai to main kaun hoti hun shikwa kerne wali" - Ye baat sun ker mujeh halka sa jhatka laga jo har lamhe Allah se gila-mand rehta tha.
Ye woh zamana tha jab main apne bete ki bimari se pareshan rehta tha. Jab main ne use bataya to bare sakoon se boli: "Jis ne zindagi di hai, wahi sahet bhi dega aur in choti choti bimarion se usi ka immune system strong hoga. Aap doctor zaroor hain magar nafsiyati tor pe bohat insecure hain." - Ye dusra jhatka tha.
Allah pe us ka iman is qadar mustahkam tha us ki annkhon aur chehre pe sirf itminan tha. Use hamari tarah koi jaldi nahi thi. Aik din cafeteria ki lambi line se meri jhillahat dekh ker boli: "Sir! ye choti choti batain sabar ki training hoti hain. Line main khare ho ker dusre insaanon ko dekha kijye, dil ki duniya aasooda ho jaaye gi." - Sonya ne bachpan main hi burhapa te ker liya tha.
Sonya ko UK ke foster homes main reh ker tight jeans pehnne ki adat ho gai thi, use cigarette peene ki lat lag gai thi. Is liye yahan masjid nahi jaati thi kiunke log use misfit samjhte the. Woh ghar pe hi namaz parh leti thi. Agle 6 mahine usse se baat hoti rahi (phir main ne Chicago choR diya). Roz woh koi aesi baat keh jaati ke main sun (numb) ho jaata. Aik din usne kaha: "Mujeh Allah ki talash nahi. Woh to har su basa huwa dikhta hai. Main to uske andar apne aap ko khoj rahi hun"!
Jab main ne Sonya ko bataya ke main kal Chicago choR ke ja raha hun to boli aap 2 ghante baad mujh se mil ker jaayye ga. Woh job se ghar gai - mere liye Suraf falaq ki khubsurat hand embroidery le aayi. Kehne lagi: "aap ka masla zindagi ki 'rat-race' hai - isi ko hasad kehte hain. Yahi shaR hai. Yahi Uqad hai. Yahi Gasaq aur Waqab hai - Khalaq se uth ker falaq ki fiqar rakhaiN, sab theek ho jaaye ga" !
Kamini saare lafzoN ki tafseer aur mere andar ki har bimari ki taabir - aik lafz 'rat-race' se ker gai !!!!
10 baras baad jab main ne naya house khardia to living room main Sonya ki embroidery aawezaaN ker di. Log aate hain, mujh kafir ko dekhte hain, phir deewar pe surah falaq ko dekhte hain - woh kiya samjhaiN har roz yahi surah falaq meri naal kheench ke rakhti hai - Aur - Allah Jaane ye ilm kis falaq se, raat ke kis paher, us ke bandoN ko ataa hota hai - jo na to kisi library main dekha aur na kisi aalim ko kasab huwa.
Sochta hun Muhammad ki Iqra wali baat theek hi hogi !!!!!
You may hear this post here
Sunday, September 06, 2015
Mehman
Bahir jaa ker us ghar ki kisi se buraii kerna bohat hi be-zarf si baat hai.
Saturday, September 05, 2015
Sureh Falaq (Sonya - 2)
"Sureh falaq sirf us waqt nahi paRi jaati jab haasidoN ka dar ho, bulke jab khud ke dil main kisi ke liye hasad paida ho to bhi ye us aag se bacha leti hai"
Sochta hun - ye Allah ke kese bande hain jin ke diloN main paRa ilm na to kisi tafseer main parha aur na kisi maulvi se suna.
Friday, September 04, 2015
On "Urdu"
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
On 'Final Good Bye'
"I wept like a child, not because I was overwhelmed at having survived, although I was. I was weeping because Richard Parker left me so... unceremoniously. It broke my heart.You know, my father was right. Richard Parker never saw me as his friend. After all we'd been through, he didn't even look back. But I have to believe that there was more in his eyes than my own reflection staring back at me. I know I felt it - even if I can't prove it. I just wish...
You know, I've left so much behind. My family, the zoo, Anandi, India - I suppose in the end the whole of life becomes an act of letting go. But what always hurts the most is not taking the moment to say goodbye.......... And I know he was a tiger, but I wish I'd said: 'It's over. We've survived. Thank you for saving my life. I love you, Richard Parker. You will always be with me. May God be with you."
Note: It's a beautiful mystical novel of a fight of oneself with his or her own inner ego. Unfortunately, the movie, though keeps you occupied and done very well - failed to convey the actual theme of the novel.
Sunday, August 23, 2015
React or Respond
Jab hum college main naye naye gaye to bare jazbati hote the. 1984 ka zamana tha jab General Zia ki hukumat ne students pe haat daalna shuru kiya. Hum us ke khilaf roz pathrao kerne, jaloos nikalne aur police ki lathi, aansoo gas khane - college ki saath saRak pe nikal jaate. Tab hamare aik teacher hume roz rokte aur kehte: "Bure halat React kerne se nahi, soch samjh ke Respond kerne se theek hote hain".
Aadhi umar guzrne pe samjh aaya, waqiyaat pe hamara koi akhtiyar nahi, woh hote rehte hain - hum ya to react ker ke bigaR lain - ya soch samjh ke respond ker ke - zindagi main aage barhte chalye jaayaiN.
Friday, August 14, 2015
Qabile parastish
~ (Jan Novakoff)
Thursday, August 13, 2015
Tourist
He was astonished to see that the Sufi's home was a simple room.
The only furniture was a mat and a kerosene lamp.
Tourist :"Sufi, where's your furniture?"
Sufi : "Where is yours?"
Tourist : "Mine? But I'm only a visitor here."
Sufi : "So am I !!"
Sunday, August 09, 2015
Tohfe
Saturday, August 08, 2015
Sufism and Homosexuality- On submission
After above said, I had an interesting conversation with one friend on psychology of submission between man and woman, and use of this psych in sufi practice. By nature Man carries a huge inflated Ego and in his own brain he (likes to) see himself as a God who can provide, nurture and protect against any afat. And woman by nature seeks a perfect man whom she can submit to seek all these and feels complete. As Bashir Badar said beautifully:
Mujeh apni chadar se yun dhaanp lo,
Zameen aa'sman kuch dikhaii na dey
I was told above explanation does not hold any water in modern time. I disagree. Man and woman are creatures born with given psychology. And why man seeks woman is another topic.
On side note, submission or to pretend submission is an art and may become a weapon of manipulation, through which woman since time of eve is fucking man's mind!
Friday, August 07, 2015
Zakat (Jurmana-2)
"To phir aap kitne muslman hain?"
Unhon ne jawab diya: "Qalma parh ker muslman ho gaya magar namaz nahi parhta, roze nahi raktha. Haj ab tak nahi kiya - magar haan zakat zaroor hisab se de deta hun?"
"woh kiun?"
"Woh is liye, ke main ne zindagi main dekha hai ke aik insan, dusre insaan ko sab kuch muaaf ker deta hai, magar ziyada ter log aik dusre ko paise muaaf nahi kerte - insaan lalchi aur harees jo thera. Rab ne insaan ko apni surat banaya hai, to sochta hun namaz roze, haj se to bachat ho jaaye gi magar zakat dusre insaano ka haq hai, woh mujhe nahi choRain ge - aur is muamle main na rab choRe ga. Bus khud ki bachat ke liye ye technical game khelta hun"
Main is mantiq pe sir khujata reh gaya.
Ye duniya ajeeb ajeeb hoshruba insanon se bhari hai !!!
Thursday, August 06, 2015
Tuesday, August 04, 2015
A quote
Monday, August 03, 2015
Small things matter
A: Because such small things matter in life.
Sunday, August 02, 2015
Minions
Insaan ne apne irtaqa' ke agaz se hi apne khuda ki talash ki hai.
Aur khud hi apne har purane maa'bood ko sangsaar ker ke
aik naye maa'bood ko tarasha hai.
Kabhi janwar ki to kabhi pathar ki pooja ki hai.
Kabhi suraj ke aage jhuka hai to kabhi ilhaad ke gaar main jiya hai.
Jang-o-jadal ka shikar hua hai
aur kabhi bhoot pareet ko jaancha hai
Kabhi do khudaoN ke beech pees ker dui ki bu se bezaar hua hai.
to kabhi Yagana-o-yakta ka janjaal saha hai.
Us ne wahid se wahdat ka safar kaata hai.
Isi chakkar main shaitani quwwatoN ka aala'-e-kaar bana hai.
Aik khuda ke sir pe taj pehna ke,
usi taj ki talash main sayyaroN se aage ke jahan ka mutlashi huwa hai
Insaan ne ye safar sirf aik dusre ka haat tham ke kaata hai
Insaaniat ka ye safar hi shayed mantaqi ut-tayyar ki kahani hai
(Movie trailer here)
Saturday, August 01, 2015
On 'Hurting'
"Jab ye khayal rahe ke mujh se kisi ko koi takleef na paunche"


