On "Dishwashing"

(Mention of pyrotherapy from uncle reminded me of this simple episode from life)

I have known Salim Sahab for almost 12 years now. He was my neighbor when I moved here, and we stayed in touch due to the proximity of the same neighborhood. His children grew in front of me and went from elementary to college. He is known in his house to be responsible for dishwashing every night. Despite having an electric dishwasher available, he has his unique way of dishwashing. He will leave all utensils in natural hot water with tons of jhag from his favorite dishwashing liquid brand (dawn) for 2-3 hours, and then will clean and rinse them under hot water, one by one. 2 weeks ago, I was invited to his place for a dawat. I stayed at his home to hang out after other guests left and his family went to bed. I asked him about his obsession with dishwashing. He replied.

"Nothing soothes me better than dishwashing. Every night after family dinner, I leave dishes under hot water and washing gel in the sink. A half-hour before I retire to bed, I put my favorite songs on youtube and rinse each utensil slowly under very hot water. It may sound crazy, but the dim light of the kitchen, low volume of songs but otherwise silence around, a touch of hot water, and taking hard stickies from plates - allow me to rinse my head from the dirt of all day. I see my mistakes, my falters, my blind spots, and my weaknesses. Call it my meditation. Trust me; I use the ritual of dishwashing as a sleeping pill".

*

Bed 26

(I named this post "Bed 26" as this was my first patient of my first ever job in USA. He was in Bed 26 and always remained with me)

"I miss my wife"
"Seems like you really loved her"
"Nope! Never"
"So?"
"She made me a better human being. Since she is gone, I feel slacking off"

On "lautna"

(Central idea of following post is taken from Joseph Campbell's "Hero's Journey")

Koi to wajah rahi ho gi 

Noah kashtii le ker phir aik nai duniya basane nikal paRa
Musa Kohe-toor se tajalli paa ker phir insaanoN ke beech laut aaaya
Muhammad iqra ka sabaq phar ker gaare-hira se aam logoN main utar aaya
Buddha ko roshni naseeb hui to woh jungle choR ke aabadi main aan basa

Aur suna hai ~ Kisi din Esaa bhi phir laut ker aaye ga 

Tum ne kabhi socha hai - ye sab laut ker wapas kiun aate hain?

Koi to wajah rahi ho gi

Chapters of our lives

Agree!

Dawn

Dawn bohat arse se hamare hospital main kaam kerti hai. Us ne  hospital main pehli job to 'as a secretary' shuru ki thi magar saath saath courses kerte kerte ab woh 'jack of all' bun chuki hai. Kabhi CNA ban jaati hai, kabhi Xray techs ko help kerti hai, kabhi respiratory therapists ko - to kabhi telemetry techs ko. Bura waqt aaye to CPR bhi ker leti hai aur maze se doctors ko batati hai ke: "Since last night your patient is in atrial fibrillation"!  New graduate nurses ko sikha bhi deti hai ke 'Pulmonary Artery Catheter' ke cables kese monitors pe lagte hain!! 

Is qadar intelligence ke bawajood hum aksar Dawn ka mazaq uRate hain ke - sach hai 'blondes' main aqal nahi hoti! - wajah ye hai ke - Dawn job per rozana, bila naga - apni moti si shadi ki anghuti pahen ke aati hai, jis pe aik khubsurat house ki shakal ka tarasha heera juRa hai.......Ye anghuti us ka mazaq bun gai hai. Sab kehte hain - 'kisi din chori ho jaaye gi, kho jaaye gi, toot jaaye gi', wagera wagera* - magar Dawn ka peechle 7 baras se aik hi jawab sunta aaya hun: "Aurat ko zindagi main bus yahi khawish rehti hai ke koi aik mard use TooT ker chahye. Aur agar aesa ho jaaye to woh zindagi ka aik lamha bhi is ehsaas ke saroor ke bagair guzaar nahi sakti. Ye anghuti mera wahi ehsaas hai". 


*(reason = personal jewelries and cosmetics items are generally not allowed in US hospitals clinical areas and need to be placed away while at work).

On "white bedsheets"

(Posted as quoted)

"There is something very unusual about making love under white bedsheets"!

Hajira - Few comments

After the last post on Hajira (HERE), a few pondering comments came. (You may not agree with all, but they are worth sharing). Putting 4 of them here

(1)
"I find it very inspiring. Till the day of judgment, for any Muslim, hajj and umra will not be completed unless he or she follows Hajra's footsteps. Imagine that she was a black woman. Most probably a slave. But Allah was so impressed by her struggle that this sacrifice will be repeated till the end of humanity. No other woman has such value as she does. A mother. Who was trying to find water for her baby in the desert."



(2)
Kaaba has very less to do with the Prophet Mohammad. As it was built by Ibrahim and Ismaeel, the whole place is an ode to his family. Tawaaf has been going on for thousands of years. The Arabs used to say namaz, hajj since Ibrahim's time. The Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) changed how it was done, but the basics remained. Saii is done as a ode to Hajira. Tawaaf starts and ends from Muqame Ibrahimi. The whole idea of Ahram for men, where they cannot hunt, wear perfume, and cannot wear sewn cloth, is almost like a cave-era man, where he walks and walks, spend a night out in the open, sleeping on the ground etc. It is a very non-Mohammedan concept.

(4)
 Kaaba was integral to Hijazi Arabs as Abrahamic ritual. Muhammad never wanted them to feel offended. Do you know alif laam meem allegedly, in the beginning, was a tribute to 3 goddesses in Kaaba: Azaa, Laat, and Manat !!!

*

On "Hajira" - (I cried for my Mom)

A beautiful post on Hazrat Hajra's motherhood from Saugoree uncle


"I cried for my Mom: I really did cry like a baby. Muslims are all well aware of the rituals of Hajj and Umrah. One of the rituals is "Saée" (Brisk walk or run between Safa and Marwah the two small hills in the Haram in Makkah Mukarrama) God liked it so much that He made it a ritual for all times to be followed by Muslims who go for Hajj or Umra. Have been there many times and did it regularly during my Hajj and during my previous Umrahs. This had not occurred to me before.

Last Umrah was last week and while busy performing, my thoughts went to Bibi Hajira who was overtaken by the worry of her baby (Ismaeel AS), lying in the desert "unprotected" except with prayers of the Father and of his mother who also had to search for water as he was thirsty. Mothers know it well. Fathers probably not so well. The real pain in the heart for the baby. God so liked that feeling of the motherhood that He made it a "celebration". How much worry and pain she (Bibi Hajira) must have gone through while going on the hill to look for water for her thirsty baby and then keeping an eye so no wild animal attacks him. Then there was a low-lying part of the distance between the two hills where she could not see the baby so she would run, hustle or rush to get back higher so she would not lose sight of her baby. Praying all the while to the Almighty to solve the problem of her thirsty baby. No mention there of her own thirst and physical distress all alone with that baby, not thinking of her own problems that her Husband had left her there with the baby all under the "orders of God Almighty".

And suddenly I was thinking how my own mother must have brought me up worrying and being concerned about my well being etc. Of course she has been dead over 45 years now but my heart started crying and I was suddenly shaken, I found my throat choked and my eyes filled with tears and I found myself crying loud .  (Read  Saugoree Uncle's full post HERE)

Hajira

(One of my friend just came back from Mecca. He said)

Mecca main sab se ziyada jo cheez mujhe jazbati kerti hai - woh Hajira ki mamta hai.

Jab tapte sehraa main aap ko aap ka mard choR ke chala jaaye - aur aap pe aik choTi si aulad ka bojh ho - aur nannge pair aap ko paani ki talash main sargardaN phirna paRe to - aesi mamta ki azmat ka bayan kese ho. 

Sare manasik main se Safa aur Marwah ke beech doRne se ziyada afzal  amal kiya hoga?


Related post HERE .

Interesting Thought

What a out of box thought

On "Genius of Mr Bean"

I think Rowan Atkinson is one heck of a genius. I had watch Mr. Bean here and there, laughed but never paid much attention till I saw his movie Mr. Bean's Holiday. I became fan of his genius. If you have time, watch following 5 minutes of clip. It teaches us how we complicate our lives, when things can be done very simply and can be enjoyed.

(non-youtube link: HERE)

https://youtu.be/jtqpuYvOfHY

Aik purani adat

Years ago - I made a habit that if I see a friend or an acquaintance in my dream, I call (or now text) them. Over years, it has brought a lot of surprises and joy - just making those short social calls. Also, it tells other people that you remember and care for them - and it is one good thing that you can do to yourself and other people, in this racing world.

Famous Blue Raincoat

Read or hear below lyrics of the following song: "Famous Blue Raincoat" 

It's a letter from one man to another man in a love triangle. I pondered for a while. It is actually a thank you letter from a man to another man as he took care of the dilemma of a woman (his wife) who loved 2 men at a time! A unique angle of a lover's triangle. 

It's four in the morning, the end of December

I'm writing you now just to see if you're better

New York is cold, but I like where I'm living

There's music on Clinton Street all through the evening

I hear that you're building your little house deep in the desert

You're living for nothing now, I hope you're keeping some kind of record

Yes, and Jane came by with a lock of your hair

She said that you gave it to her, That night that you planned to go clear

Did you ever go clear?

Ah, the last time we saw you, you looked so much older

Your famous blue raincoat, was torn at the shoulder

You'd been to the station to meet every train,

and You came home without Lili Marlene

And you treated my woman to a flake of your life

And when she came back she was nobody's wife

Well I see you there with the rose in your teeth

One more thin gypsy thief  Well, I see Jane's awake

She sends her regards

And what can I tell you my brother, my killer, What can I possibly say?

I guess that I miss you, I guess I forgive you, I'm glad you stood in my way

If you ever come by here, for Jane or for me

Well, your enemy is sleeping, and his woman is free

Yes, and thanks, for the trouble you took from her eyes

I thought it was there for good so I never tried

 And Jane came by with a lock of your hair

She said that you gave it to her, That night that you planned to go clear

Sincerely, L Cohen

An interesting question

Stuck between "Naseh" and "chara-saaz"

Mirza Ghalib ne kha tha

Ye kahaN ki dosti hai ke bane hain dost naseh
Koi chara-saaz hota, koi gum-gusaar hotaa

Meri saari zindagi ye khawhish rahi ke main Thomas Hardy ke novel, "Far From The Madding Crowd" ke kirdar 'Gabriel Oak'  jesa dost ban sakun - magar 'Naseehat' aur 'charasaazi' ke darmiyaan itni patli lakeer hai ke us pul-siraat se guzarna aksar na-mumkin ho jaata hai.

Meri zindagi main aese kai moR aaye jab kai dost mere paas gum-gusaari ke liye aa ke bethe magar - aik dost ke naate - mere liye zaroori tha - ke main unhe talkh baat kehta - unhe unki galtioN ka idraaK dilaane ki koshish kerta. Isi chakkar main kai dostiaN toot gai.

Kisi ne aik aam si, be-wazni nazam aaj forward ki thi - magar sach hi hai

Galata Tower

Mere auto mechanic ka taaluq Istanbul se hai. Choti si dukan hai. Imandar aadmi hai. Main gaari ke chote mote kaam usi se kerwa leta hun. Hum use 'Jibran' bulatey hain.

Main ne zindagi ke baRe baRe sabaq kitaboN ki bajaaye aam insaaon se sikhay hain - ke insaan hi is kaainat ki sab se bari kitab hai.

Kal Jibran ne mujeh bataya ke woh 2 hafte ke liye Istanbul ja raha hai. Main ne yunhi rawani main kaha: "You just went there last year. And, if I am not mistaken you were there a year before too". 

Jibran hasne laga aur phir us ne mujeh ye kahani sunaii:

"I was born and raised in Istanbul. I got married and had kids while in Istanbul. I was an extremely ambitious person. I did well in my career and made good money before I reached 30. I wanted to make more money. I sold my business and moved to the USA. But still, I had some payment to come from my sold business. The guy who bought my business started giving me a runaround. I had to call every other day, and when that didn't work, I had to personally go there a few times - but to no avail. Over time, I got angry and furious, as it was a huge amount of money. My wife, friends, and family advised me to let it go as I was doing well in the USA - but now it was more a fight of ego, a sense of getting conned, and revenge. One day, I started having the idea of killing or physically harming that person. That night, I dreamed that I was at the top of the Galata Tower (an Istanbul landmark) with my two kids - and though I was there holding them, one after another, my kids slipped from my arms despite holding them tight and fell from the tower. I see their bodies dead on the floor from the top of the tower. The impact of that dream was so intense that I was unable to function for 2/3 days. Turkey is a sufi land of Hazrat Rumi. I took this as a divine message that my actual assets are my kids, that revenge will eventually hurt me, and that money does not matter. As soon as I understood that, I was all calm - and since that day, I have never worried about losing money. I travel to Istanbul every year to see my family and sit near Galata Tower, sipping Turkish apple chai and reminding myself of that one important lesson of life. You can call it my annual spiritual pilgrimage."

*

'Keep Moving'

As they say in Africa: "When an old man dies, a library burns to the ground with him."

My initial inspiration for writing stories, learning lessons of life, and thinking out of the box came from my Nana (maternal grandfather). I used to spend hours and hours just sitting and listening to him. To make a long story short, I still get excited when I hear older people sharing lessons from their lives. In this regard, my favorite article is from Khushwant Singh HERE.

A week ago, I enjoyed reading Dick Van Dyke's book 'Keep Moving' on a similar theme. He is now almost 90 and thinks the following five things matter in life.

1. Family and Friends - particularly children.

2. Habit to Question things, concepts, and curiosities around

3. Appreciation of good Music and the ability to dance to it

4. Reading and having books

5. A good sense of humor

I loved his comment: "Collect experiences, not memories." (Take away lesson for me from his book).

I honestly believe that good sleep and good dreams are essential for the healthy psyche of any human. He says forgiveness is the best sleeping pill at a philosophical level, but pragmatically, if you write down your to-do list for the next day (or try to write down your emotions) on paper, it will make you light, and you will sleep better.

I have been writing diary since the age of 19, and this practice has helped me.

*

On "Fiction Literature"

I absolutely subscribe and sold to fiction for following reason:

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” ― Neil Gaiman

On "women's intuition"

Somebody forwarded following quote to me and I tend to agree with Rudyard Kipling!!

On "sorrows of a widow"

"Don't you know that widows or divorced women often have children by the new husband, which resemble the old one?"

A powerful line from 'He Who  Gets Slapped" - a  classic century old American drama and film, actually an adaptation from Russian literature.