On "Art of Sex"

"Yes, Sir! Sex is an Art. If a woman knows, she can bring an animal out of any man, anytime. - we all know that. But, if a man knows where to push buttons! He can bring slut out of any woman, anywhere, anytime! No wonder I often loved to fuck in public places, more than in a room of a luscious 5-star hotel".

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Kala Dhaga, Dadi Amma aur 'Middle Child Syndrome'

"Ye tum har waqt seedhe pair (right leg) pe kaala dhaga kiun bandh ke rakhti ho?"

"Main 'middle child' thi. Mujhe yun lagta sirf dadi mujh se piyar kerti hai. Sab se pehle bhai paida huwa. Beta tha aur pehla tha - saare ghar ka raj dulara tha. Mere foran baad choti paida ho gai. Ghar main sab ki aankhoN ka taara ban gai. Ghar ki princess ban gai...... Main kahin nahi thi. Yun lagta Abbu Ammi adhura piyar kerte hain....bas aik dadi thi jis ke paas main apna har dukh le ker paunch jaati...Dadi ke saath soti, Dadi ke saath khana khati..... 16 baras ki umar main pehla rishta aate hi abbu ne shadi ker di. Jis din meri flight thi, main Dadi ke gale lag ker bohat roii.....Dadi ne seedhe pair pe aik kala dhaga bandh diya.. ...

20 saal baad peechle saal Pakistan gaii to dadi ki umar 90 ke paas ho gaii ho gi. Kisi ko nahi pehchanti thi..main paas ja ker bethi to to mere pair ke kale dhage ko dekh ker, mujhe gale se laga liya..baar baar kehti jaati - 'meri bachii aai hai'.....Bus usi piyar kerne wali dadi ki nishani liye phirti hun."

Behkawa, Sureh-Falaq aur Macbeth

One of our Islamiat teacher, Sir Aleem (here, here, here) used to say: "Behkawey, waswasey aur shar (evil) ki taqat ko samjhna chahte ho - aur chahte ho ke Sureh-Falaq ki gheraioN tak utar pao to Shakespeare ki Macbeth parho".

Few nights ago, as I was reading Surah Falaq to my kids - my son asked me the same question about the true nature of "shar" (evil). I bought him the children's version of Macbeth and as I read with him, I recalled my one blog post from 9 years ago (here) - : "Mujhe waswase or Behkawe ki taqat ka andaza us waqt hua jab main ne shakespeare ki Macbeth parhi !!

On 'human life span'

As I was listening talk on Ted.com (here) on Human Genome and its effect on treating human diseases etc., it reminded me of Surah Baqarah in Quran. I believe that a one-day human life span will roam around 1000 years. And that is purely from scientific research available to date. But, If you read Surah Baqarah ayat # 94 to 96, it indicates that.

Personal note: It was a bizarre interpretation almost 20 years ago when I first started reading the Quran. Over time I concur with Umar bin Khattab that: "This book cannot be human writing." Nothing makes me believe in Islam except the Quran; otherwise, the history and deeds of its followers often make me puke! 

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On 'Pretty wife"

Jab insaan jawai main naya naya qadam rakhta hai to dostoN main ajeeb ajeeb 'discussions' hote hain. Aik din hum dostoN main ye bahes cheeR gai ke biwi kesi honi chahiye?

Aik dost ka khayal tha: Biwi bohat khubsurat honi chahiye, taake ghar aane ka dil kare

Dusre dost ka kehna tha: Ab biwi itni bhi khubsurat na ho ke aadmi insecure ho jaaye

Aadhi zindagi guzar gai -  magar maloom nahi kaunsa dost theek tha?

(Not debating here - girl's 'saleeqaye amoore khana daari')

On "Shadi"

"Kiya Shadi mohabbat ke liye kerni chahiye?"
"Gadhe hain jo shadi, mohabbat ke liye kerte hain"
"Phir?"
"Shadi mohabbat se nahi, 'Respect' se chalti hai. Mian Biwi main muhabbat se ziyada zaroori hai, aik dusre ki izzat ki jaaye"

Aik Chinese kahawat

(Reminds me of brain drain in 3rd world countries)

One morning Text

Life is an interesting thing! We get small things unexpectedly and they bring smile to our face. I received this text, first thing in the morning from a friend in far far land - and it brightened my day - just thinking of his state of mind.

"I just realised there is nothing better in the world than good coffee, sex and a book."

Chota

Every house, mohalla, village, town, city, society and country usually have a chota. Everybody abuses him, curses him but he is likes an oil of the system. Everybody thinks he is useless and low life but he carries the burden and soul of the whole system. Aese hi aik chote ki kahani

"A bus full of passengers was traveling while suddenly the weather changed and there was a huge downpour and lightning all around. They could see that the lightning would appear to come towards the bus and then go elsewhere. After 2 or 3 instances, the driver stopped the bus about fifty feet away from a tree and said - "We have somebody in the bus whose death is a certainty today. Because of that person everybody else will also get killed. I want each person to go one-by-one and touch the tree trunk and come back. Whomsoever death is certain will get caught up by the lightening and will die. But everybody else will be saved". They had to force the 1st person to go and touch the tree and come back. He reluctantly got down from the bus and went and touched the tree. His heart leaped with joy when nothing happened and he was still alive. This continued for rest of the passengers who were all relieved when they touched the tree and nothing happened. When the last passengers turn came, everybody looked at him with accusing eyes. This passenger was also very afraid and reluctant. Everybody forced him to get down and go and touch the tree. With a fear of death, the last passenger walked to the tree and touched it. There was a huge sound of thunder and the lightning came down and hit the bus - yes the lightening hit the bus, and killed each and every passenger inside the bus. It was because of the presence of this last passenger that earlier, the entire bus was safe and the lightning could not strike the bus."

Makafate-Amal

Ye aik ajeeb kahani hai. Yaqeen se nahi keh sakta - sirf ittifaq hai ya koi bud-dua?

Jab main America naya naya aaya to paise nahi the. Kai 'odd jobs' ki. Aesi hi aik 'odd job' kuch dinoN ke liye aik desi grocery store pe ki. Desi grocery store aik Pakistani mian biwi aur unhi ke rishte ka koi bhanja chalate the. ...

 Woh grocery store ajeeb bai-maani ki dukan thi.......... Logon ko bagair ring kiye, sales tax bachane ke liye, cheezain bechna.....logon se udhar pe maal le ker paise wapas na kerna... credit cards ke fraud kerna .... Gangs se chori ka maal khareedna... aur aese kai kaam hote the ...Bhanje ko bhi us haram ki kamaii se barabar ka hissa milta

Aik din aik shaks dukan main daakhil huwa aur us ne kaafi hangama khara kiya. Baqol uske, uske 25 hazar dollar un mian biwi pe nikalte the... Koi 'writen contract' nahi tha....jaate jaate woh shaks kehta gaya: "Nahi aaunga yahan ab kabhi apne paise lene! Nahi chahiye mujhe ab ye 25 hazar dollar - magar khuda kare tum teeno kutte ki maut mare jao"

Aik mahine baad, unho ne mujh pe 50 dollar chori ka ilzam lagaya aur bagar koi salary diye farig ker diya. Mujeh wo shaks bohat yaad aaya!

Baat guzar gai, mujeh residency mil gai. ...Is baat ko koi 14 baras guzar gaye. Main kisi kaam se us shahR wapas gaya to socha purane logoN se mil lun. Pata laga

Basheer Bhai Lahore apne rishte-daaroN se milne gaye the, wahan kisi ne purani dushmani ki aag main unhe goli maar ke laash kuttoN ko daal di....... Waheeda Baji ko stroke huwa aur phir heart attack main faut ho gain... aur bhanje Hamid ke peeche koi Mafia wale aese lage ke aik raat usne khudkushi ker li.

ye Duniya bhi ajeeb jaaye-makafate-amal hai

On one 'Irresponsible comment'

A few days back, I was watching the desi channel with one of my uncles. As we watched the news of horrific floodings in Pakistan, my uncle said: "Kiya tabahii aayi hai." I irresponsibly commented: "Such a country deserves to be drowned."

That night, I dreamt that my hometown in America was flooded, and our local community was trying to put on sandbags. Despite their warning, I drove my car into standing water with my two kids in it, and now my car is submerged in standing water. As I can see the sky from my sunroof, I try to open it, but now all doors are locked. I see myself freaking out and panicking. Fear was so intense; I woke up from the dream with sweats and a heartbeat going into atrial fibrillation. Suddenly, I recalled my irresponsible comment.

I sat at the bedside, drank a glass of water, and sincerely asked for forgiveness from the Almighty. I felt some peace in my heart, went to bed, and slept for ten more hours.

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Ducklings vs. Stairs

In this era of the internet and "devices," we get bombarded with tons of info and videos every day. I received the following video couple of days ago. As I forward it to my friends, one friend responded by saying: "I am surprised how mom didn't help anyone n they all struggled n succeeded." I replied: "That is the whole point. Mom was calm. Nature is amazing. Mom knew in her heart, that's the way ducks learn. Note: she stayed till the last one climbed the stairs".

We don't appreciate, but we live, breathe and exist in the infinite world of wonderful mother nature.

 

Honesty in everyday life

As I pulled out of the parking area in packed downtown, my change was 10 dollars and 3 cents.

Lady at the counter was about to hand me over the change, but at the last moment, she pulled her hands back and said: "Hold on! I think I am wrong. I am 2 pennies short."

"Does not matter, ma'am", I said

"It does matter to me, Sir," she replied.

Mard aur Aurat - 2

"Mard ki zaat but-parast hai. Kai chote bare but (idol) nikalte hain us ke dil main se. Aurat tauhid-parast hai. Uska dil chaq karo, to Allah ke baad aik hi kuda nikalta hai, uske lahu main ranga huwa"!

Man is an idol-worshipper. He carries many small and large idols in his heart. Woman is Monotheist. If you dissect her heart, you will find only one lord after All Mighty, soaked in her blood).

(Ashfaq Ahmad in "sona mila na pi mile" = neither found gold nor beloveds)

Mard aur Aurat

(Following sentiment is expressed to me by a man while in travel. I don't agree with it in its entirety but have seen this happening often in my life).

"Agar Mard ghar main aurat se ziyada kasab kerta ho to kafalat ke saroor main zindagi guzarne lagta hai - Aur agar aurat ghar main mard se ziyada paise kamana lage to garoore-hakmiyat main mubtala ho jaati hai".

Ease

Jab zindagi main pehli dafa main 'bar-dikhawwe' yani shadi ke liye larki dekhne ja raha tha to bohat sehma huwa tha - (right word is 'nervous'). Meri pareshani dekh ker meri aik bhabhi ne mujh se kaha:

"Girl always like to see a man again only if he does not intimidate her and if she feel at ease. Try to make her feel at ease and she will look forward to see you again".

Larki ne to mujeh reject ker diya magar ye sabaq yaad reh gaya - aur zindagi main bohat kaam aaya.

Gareeb ki lori

"Gangs of Wasseypur" (almost 6 hours long) was one of the finest movie ever made in Bollywood if it comes to crime cinema. How poverty, ego, self respect, greed and power mix with crime is beautifully depicted in the movie. Following song from movie touched me deeply as it says poor man's lullaby. This movie is very near to my heart as growing up in lower middle class neighborhoods of Karachi, I have seen many young lives succumb to gangs of political parties. Many lunar months when moon is getting near its glory, I think of this song

"Ek bagal main chand hoga, Ek bagal main rotian
Ek bagal main neend hogi, Ek bagal main lorian
Hum chand pe roti ki chadar Daal ker so jaayain ge
Aur neend se keh dain ge, lori kul sunane aayain ge"

In one armpit carrying moon, and in other armpit bread
In one armpit carrying sleep, and in other lullabies
We will spread bedsheet of bread on moon and would sleep (soundly)
and would tell sleep, lets do lullaby tomorrow"

Link for folks who don't have access to youtube:
http://tune.pk/video/3836612/ek-bagal-mein-chand-hoga-gangs-of-wasseypur-2

5 Quotes on War

War does not determine who is right - only who is left. ~ Bertrand Russell 

I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy.

~ John Adams

Only the dead have seen the end of the war.  ~ George Santayana

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. ~ Ernest Hemingway 

Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious. ~ Oscar Wilde

Dilemma of woman in 'love triangle'

Many (and many) love stories have been written as 'love triangles.' It is interesting how sometimes things happen in succession, bringing the same message to life. While I was re-reading Charles Dicken's 'A Tale of Two Cities,' I watched Woody Allen's "Magic in the Moonlight"  (here) - and had two episodes in my own life of people I know—where women were caught in the dilemma of choosing between two men!

In love triangles, I found one man is usually a handsome, logical character but of dry nature, while the other man carries the juicy 'bad boy trait.' It is undoubtedly the truth, though, beyond comprehension, that a woman's heart usually feels attracted to a bad boy, but her brain and social pressure pull her to the other.

In Woody Allen's movie, the girl finally chooses the 'bad boy.' And, for me, alcoholic Sydney Carton, at last, remained the hero of Charles Dickens, not Charles Darnay.

(Critics think that Charles Dickens portrayed himself as Charles Darnay and Sydney Carton as two shades of his own. And there was an 18-year-old girl in his real life whom he wrote as Lucie in the novel).

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Dusra Kutta

(I wish, I knew the author)
(Beautiful audio- total time 8 minutes)