Shahi Mohalle se Saskatchewan tak!

Paida to main Lahore ke 'Shahi Mohalle' main hui thi. Shahi Mohalla kiun bolun 'Heera Mandi' hi keh lo! Main ne kis raat kis nutfe se janam liya, meri Ma ko nahi maalum tha - bus usne mere naam ke saath 'Malik' laga diya aur main 'R**** Malik' ban gai.

Meri Ma aik ajeeb aurat thi - aik taraf woh pesha kerne wali aurat thi - aur dusri taraf namaz roze ki paband. Ajeeb si baat thi.

Amma ke kai dost the - bulke yun kaho - kai yaar the. Unki badolat, Amma ko TV pe kaam mil gaya. Amma ne jab TV pe kaam kerna shuru kiya to use aehsaas huwa ke ye duniya bohat bari hai. Wahan Amma pe Canada se aane wala aik shaks aashiq ho gaya. Amma ne moqa ganimat jaana - usse se shadi ki - aur hum sab Canada aa gaye.

Amma ko dar tha ke bare Shahr main rahe to koi purana janne wala nikal aaye ga. Amma ki dua jo qabul hui thi - usne toba ker li thi. Hum sab Canada ke province Saskatchewan aa gaye. Main wahin, aik chote se town 'Prince Albert' main bari hui. Aik normal Canadian zindagi thi. Abhi high school main thi ke wahin Pakistan se University of Saskatchewan aane wale aik Pakistani se mohabbat aur shadi ho gai. Main high school drop-out ho gai. Magar kia maalum tha ke us shaks ko sirf Canadian residency chahiye thi. Ye bhi gawara tha. Main aik gherulu Pakistani larki ki tarah kaam bhi kerti, ghar bhi sambhalti. Phir meri do betian paida ho gai. Canadian citizenship milte hi mere shohar ne university chor di aur kaam bhi chor diya. Ghar ka saara baar mujh pe aa para. Do betioN ki wajah se talaq ka soch bhi nahi sakti thi. Ghar ke ikhrajat barhte gaye. Meri akeli job se guzara mushkil hota chala gaya. Kisi ne mashwara diya massage therapist ban jao. So yahan wahan se waqt aur paise nikal ker certification ker hi li aur aik massage center main job mil gai. 

Aik roz paise ki musalsal tangi se tang aa ker main ne 'handsome tip' ke liye aik client ko 'hand job' diya. Gunah aur sharam ke aehsas is qadar shadeed tha ke main dil main darud shariff ka wird ker rahi thi! Ahista ahista sab kuch lutana shuru ker diya! Har raat apne khuda se muafi maang ke soti aur har subah betioN ke chehre ki raunaq ke liye wahi kaam phir se kerne lagti! 

Sach poocho to Shahi Mohalla ho ya Saskatchewan! PaisoN ki asoodgi ke liye aurat ne mukhtalif roop main jism ka karobar kiya hai. Ye koi nai baat nahi! 

Magar aik baat bohat ajeeb hai - jo buraii hamain patal ki taraf dakhelti hai - wahi apne allah se qareeb bhi kerti hai. Amma ki saum-o-salat ki pabandi ki samjh ab aayi!

Jab bazari aurat apne Allah ke huzur khari hoti hai to riya-kaari se aari hoti hai. Apni saari aalaishaiN apne rab ke aage rakh ke haath bandh ke saza ke liye khari ho jaati hai - aur woh rahim har raat us ki khta bhaksh deta hai. ye to insaan hi hai - jo sangsaari ka pathar liye us ke peeche dorta rehta hai!

Tasveer

"Ye tumhari deewar pe kis aurat ki ye khubsurat 'portrait' (tasveer) lagi hai?"

"Ye us aurat ki tasveer hai jis se main ne kabhi piyar nahi kiya magar is ne apni hadoN se barh ker mujh se piyar kiya - Bus isi wastey - ke main itna to ker sakta hun"!

Jhagra

"Mard aurat main jhagra kiun rehta hai?"

"Mard chahta hai aurat use asani farham kare, aurat usse mohabbat ki taalib rehti hai - yahi 'disconnect' rehta hai"

"Phir jhagra kese khatam ho?"

"Jab tak mard aurat ko mustaqil mohabbat aur 'assurance' deta rehta hai aur aurat us ki zarooriyat ko asan kerti rehti hai, jhagra nahi hota - werna phir shuru ho jaata hai!"

A quote

If you don't read the newspaper you're uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. -- Mark Twain

Halala! (Re-marrying in Islam)

(Halala refers to an act - where woman has to sleep/marry with another man if she wants to go back to her ex husband)

For long time I looked for right answer on concept of "halala" in Islam. I read various translations of all related verses in Quran, listened various talks from various levels of scholars. Let me assure you, in Islam, a man and woman can divorce and re-marry (just do new Nikah) without any consequences 3 times. Also a single divorce requires a statue of 3 months!

"Halala" comes in play only, when same couple go through divorce in their lifetime 3 times - which I doubt ever happen. (Best described in Surah 2:228-232). How 'Halala' should be performed is another subject and a glorious way to box-hit TV dramas!

 - It was just a passing note on my understanding and reading of Quran - though for me it was just an academic exercise.

Dreaming of rubble

I am always interested in pathophysiology, para-psychology and mystical dimensions of dreams, as you may have seen many posts on this blog. Here one caught my eye from one man who in one way belongs to my intellectual tribe, fondly called NFP. He dissects his dream in an unusual manner!

"In the dream I’m in a plain t-shirt and jeans, looking (and feeling) like I used to in my 20s: Lean, agile and a swift walker; no ‘pot belly’ or that stoic post-40 calm. I often dream about my father, to whom I was very close. Perhaps my mind has yet to accept his passing away. Nevertheless, in the dream he drops me in a busy area full of traffic and shops, and where lots of construction work is taking place. I get off, and that is when I realise I am carrying a black knapsack. This is strange because I have always hated knapsacks. Even when I travel across Asian and European cities and walk for hours, I refuse to carry one. So I wonder what the knapsack symbolised in the dream? Some sort of a burden or a worrying thought, perhaps?............."

Read full article here http://www.dawn.com/news/1044595/dreaming-of-rubble

Ba ka Guldaan

Zindagi ka koi chota waqiya, kambakht-mara saari zindagi peecha nahi chorta! 
Is baat ko bhi aap mere bachpan ki 'insecurity' ka parto samjh lain! 

Mere paas hamesha aik 'pot' rehta hai - jis main har roz 'change' (khulle) jamaa hota hai!

Faheem Bhai ka qissa bohat pehle is blog pe likha tha (here). 
Ye un dinoN ki baat hai, jab hamare haalaat koi bohat achhe nahi the. 
Faheem bhai hamare parosi the aur un ke ghar bhi gurbat ka raaj tha. 

Faheem bhai ko jab Dubai main naukri mili to Faheem bhai ki ticket main 3000 rupe kam parte the. Faheem bhai ki amma ko sara mohalla piyar se "Ba" kehta tha. Ba chupke se kahin almari se aik purana guldaan utha laain. Guldan ko tora to andar se koi 3500 hazar rupe nikal aaye. Thore thore ker ke 'Ba' us guldaan main Allah jaane kab se paise jamaa ker rahi thiN. Faheem Bhai khushi se nachne lage aur aik sham Dubai chale gaye.

Ye aik chota sa waqiya tha magar haramzada dimag se chipak gaya. Hamara bura waqt guzar gaya. Allah ne zindagi ka raasta kushaada ker diya - magar - Ba ke us zambeeli guldaan ne peecha na chora. Aaj bhi khulle paisoN ko zaaya nahi kerta aur roz bacha ker ghar laata hun!

A quote

"Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens." - Jimi Hendrix

Ma!

Insaan chahey kitni hi umar ka ho jaaye, pareshani main aik baar, usey Ma zaroor yaad aati hai!

Aik choti si hikayat

Ek sufi har subah milne wale har insaan ko haath utha ker salam karte. Sab unke salam ka jawab muskura ker salam se dete. Lekin ek aadmi tha jo roz unhe gali deta tha. Ek bhale aadmi ne us sufi se pucha: "Aap ise phir bhi roz salam kyon karte ho? Woh to aap ko roz gaali deta hai". 

Sufi ne jawab diya: "Jab woh mere liye apni buri aadat nahi chorh sakta, to main uske liye apni acchi aadat kyon chorun?"

On "Housewarming Gift"

Norma works in our hospital's ER desk. Coincidently she lives in my neighborhood. Few years ago, when I bought a house, I invited her to just come over with her family. Indeed, she did. As a housewarming gift, she bought a plant! I look bewildered at her. she said: "My Grandma used to say that there is nothing better than a plant for new house. As plant grows everyday, your love and kinship for house grows".

My daughter regularly watered and trimmed the plant. This evening, I realized how integral this plant has become part of my everyday life as I go in and out of my house!

(Today I recalled my one very old post on Mali Baba! (here)

Ashfaq Ahmad's last words

I am writing this post for myself to remember something which is important to me. I have learned a good deal out of this. Personally, though I don't agree with Ashfaq sahab's lot of views but indeed his writings left deep mark on my psych. I strongly believe that if someone has not read his short story "Gadarya" (Shepard), has not touched Urdu literature at all! (here)

As per Banu Apa: "On the morning of September 7 (2004), Ashfaq sahab left us forever. Just before his last breath, as he saw me sad he said - Qudsia, ghabrana ya pareshan mat hona! jo kuch ho raha hai theek hi ho raha hai".

Hair and Spirituality!

(aaj bhi jab bimar hota hun to amma kehti hain baal katwa lo)

In Study of religions, you will find 2 trends when it comes to hair. One set of ritualists believe to shave their head fully like Thai monks. This comes from the belief that if you keep your head bald you divert your energy inward and channel it for spiritual enlightenment

OR they do believe to grow or never cut the hair, like our sikh community (I just love them). This comes from the belief that as you grow your hair, you spread the inner energy outward, and your communal power get strong with spiritual strength.

I found these 2 contrasting views very interesting.

You will be surprise to know that there is a website dedicated to history and mythology of hair http://thehistoryofthehairsworld.com/

A Gold Coin!

Aik aadmi ko uski Ma ne marte huwe aik sone ki ashrafi (a gold coin) di - aur kaha - jab tak ye tumhare paas rahe gi, samjho meri duaiN tumhare saath rahe gi......... Us aadmi se woh ashrafi kho gi.

Jab use aehsas huwa ke uski ashrafi kho gai hai - to woh rota dhota - aik sufi buzurg ke paas gaya aur apni bipta sunai. Woh buzurg use, darya kinare le gaye - aur kaha: " Jab tumhari Ma ne tumhe ye Ashrafi di, to tum jeb main daal ke bhool gaye. Phir nahane gaye to ye darya main gir gayi."

Buzurg ne darya main haat daala to aik machli aayi, uske mun main ashrafi thi. Sufi ne machli ke mun se ashrafi le ker us aadmi ko di. Woh bara khush huwa! .. Buzurg ne us shaks ke haat se ashrafi le ker phir darya main phenk di. Woh shaks bara hairan huwa!

Buzurg ne kaha: "Tumhe agar Ma ki duaoN ki qadar hoti to ye ashrafi sambhal ke rakhte. Tumhari liye ashrafi ke kho jaana hi ahsan hai - kiunke - zindagi main bohat si cheezain kho jaayaiN tab hi woh paas rehti haiN".

A Quote - Sakoon

Wasif Ali Wasif ko parhne wala bulke unko mursheed maanne wala aik bara tabqa hai. Suna hai ab to har saal bhawalpur main un ka urs bhi hone laga hai.

Main ne unko bus thora bohat hi parha. (Mujh jese na-maaqool ko kabhi 'Ibne-Safi' ke sahar se bahir aane ki taufeeq hi naseeb nahi hui). Wasif Ali Wasif ki aik baat bohat pehle parhi thi - mera khayal hai woh baat kafi zaroori hai

"Agar apne dil ka sukoon barhana chahte ho - to woh cheez baantna shuru ker do - jis cheez se tumhe sukoon milta hai"!

(Shayed isi liye main blog likhta hun)


Addendum: You can read his famous book "Dil, Darya Samandar" here

(link: http://iqbalcyberlibrary.net/Urdu-Books/969-416-206-024/p0001.php)

Sir Zaheer!

Peechli aik post "Old Textbooks" main Sir Zaheer ka zikar aaya tha!

Sir Zaheer Class 7 se class 10 main mere Maths ke teacher rahe. Unhon ne Karachi University se Maths main Masters kiya - aur saari zindagi sarkari school ke bachoN ko Maths parhane main guzar di. Maths se unhe ishq tha. Pehli baar zindagi main kisi ne bataya ke Maths ki equations zindagi ko balance kerne ka khel hai. Pehli baar kisi ne sikhaya ke Maths ke Theorem zindagi ka aesa gorakh dhandha hai ke - yun hota to kiya hota  - aur - wesa hota to kiya hota. Pehli baar laga, Maths koi subject nahi - bulke pehlioN ki kitab hai. BatoN BatoN main bari bari equations yun samjha jaaate ke, baayaiN haat ka khel lagta.

Jab Metric ke baat main ne 'pre-medical' liya to bohat 'shock' huwe. Mujeh apne ghar bulwaya. 2 room ka chota sa makan tha jis main biwi aur 3 bachhoN ke saath guzara ker rahe the. Kehne lage tum 'Physics' parho. Main ne kaha: 'Sir! is mulk main Physics, Maths, Chemistry ka koi scope nahi'. Woh mera tanz samjh gaye. Kuch na bole!

Magar unki naseehat yaad reh gai! Main ne Medicine ko 'profession' ki bajaye 'part of life' samjh ke practice kiya! Aaj bhi hospital jaata hun to medicine 'Job' nahi lagti - khud Zindagi lagti hai. Unhi ki badolat - aaj bhi nayi baat seekh ke maza aata hai. Har din hospital main aik naya din lagta hai.....

Jab Aamir Khan ki '3 idiots' aayi to 2 log bohat yaad aaye, Aik 'Ejaz' (here) or aik Sir Zaheer!

Below clip always reminds me of him

https://youtu.be/POV3fKmSVkg

Sleep Deprivation!

(A passing note on everyday life)

If being a physician (and I have been), you ask me to fix one thing in your life to stay healthy, wealthy and wise - I will advise you to fix your sleep problem, if you have any! Once your brain is sleep deprived, you make wrong choices in life and plunge into whirlpool of bad luck and undesirable consequences. Remember, you can't change people and circumstances - its your attitude which makes a difference - and, sleep deprivation/insomnia is the last thing you want! 

Being working in hospital for now almost 20 years, I have my own - or should I say - more than enough share of sleep deprivation. I frequently ask nurses, para-nursing staff, physicians, residents and clerical staff about their modus operandi to keep sleep habit healthy. Everyone found his own way  from pharmaceutical to non-pharmaceutical answer. It ranged from Benadryl, Tylenol PM to having nap in day or sex before going to bed.

Point is work on it! Only you can answer. Find out how much sleep you need and how to have peaceful sleep. - even if you have to ask your doctor to check out your engine or to write Lunesta, Ambien, Helcion or whatever for PRN use!

Childhood

Insaan apne bachpan ka aseer hai

(Man is slave of his childhood)

Aurat ke Ghar!

Mard ko saari zindagi yahi ibhaam rehta hai ke aurat shaadi ker ke uske ghar main aai hai - magar aurat ka dil saari zindagi wahiN maeke main rehta hai! 

Aurat saari zindagi (Banu Apa ke lafzoN main) yahi shikwa kerti rehti hai: "Kitne hi saal susraal main raho, kitne hi bachhe jano - kese kese kaaj sanwaro, koi apna nahi hota. Susraal main to shohar bhi apna nahi hota, dusroN ka gila kesa?...."

Ab to ye aurat per hai ke - soche to - uske 2 ghar hain  - aur soche to - uska koi ghar nahi....