Do the dead greet the dying?

Following article caught my eye as I wondered about same phenomenon for years. When my father (here) died he provided the similar vision of his mother (my dadi).

"Throughout my years of working with the dying and the bereaved, I have noticed commonly shared experiences that remain beyond our ability to explain and fully understand. The first are visions.

As the dying see less of this world, some people appear to begin looking into the world to come. It’s not unusual for the dying to have visions, often of someone who has already passed on. Your loved one may tell you that his deceased father visited him last night, or your loved one might speak to his mom as if she were there in the room at that time..."

Read full article of David Kessler here.  (David Kessler is a leading and well-known expert on dying process after Elisabeth Kübler-Ross)

Aik zillat ka qissa

(One of my friend just returned from Pakistan's flood relief work)

There is a flood relief camp set up at Sohrab Goth near Karachi for people displaced from interior Sindh. That day they were distributing food cans in line. There was a girl of about 24 years age standing in line to get food for her small kid in lap. Policeman who was distributing food - without any shame - first played with her breasts and than hand over food. She walked away quietly with food!

Desires

(Shared by a fellow passenger when flight was cancelled and we were stuck at airport for 8 hours)

I am from Nigeria. My parents divorced when I was 18 or 19. That divorce did not only teach me that how men and women are different but also taught me that human relationships, desires and emotions are so complex that its not easy to blame one person.

My father was a hard working man. We were a middle class people living in a one bedroom apartment. My mother was way younger than my dad. She was an attractive woman with long silky black hair. She always thought that she is married to a wrong person. She thought herself of a princess. Her desires were forever. She craved for big house, servants, good clothings and of luxuries. She never cheated on my father. She took care of all household but she was not happy. On the other hand my father was a pragmatic man burned by harsh realities of life. Romance was dead in his heart and he had lost his softer and touchy inner self. He was unable to see woman's heart!

At one time my father was out of town for 3 weeks. I was away to college. One of our old neighbors had a big ancestral house little away at beach. My mom went there for 18 days. She felt like princess there in a big house with servants and furniture full castle. She came back. When my father returned and he came to know of her adventure - they had a huge fight. My father divorced her.

Life moved on but even now when I look back - I don't know whom to blame?

Iqra!

"Jub Mohammad se kaha gaya ke: 'Iqra' to is ka matlab ye nahi tha ke - naha dho ke, musalla bicha ke, topi pahen ke, feroz sons ka chapa koi sipara nikal ke - tote ki tarah far far parhna shuru ker do. Bulke iska matlab ye tha ka zindagi main jub kahin koi musibat aaye to sachhe dil se ooper wale ki hidayat ki tamanna karo. Zindagi ka har waqiya aik paigam maloom hoga"

Sir Aleem (here, here) ki ye baat jitni asan lagti hai - utni hi mushkil hai

Ye raaz kisi ko nahi maalum ke momin

qaari nazar aata hai, haqiqat main hai quran (iqbal)

(Sir Aleem recently died of cancer)

Zindagi hairan hun main!

Peechle do din main 2 khabrain aesi parhne ko miliN ke dimag sun hai

1. A Pakistani father killed his 3 kids over divorce custody battle (here)

2. A Pakistani couple killed in road accident leaving behind 2 kids (here)

Tujh se naraz nahi zindagi hairan hun main

Danaai aur Piyaas

"Registan main hum log dhoop se chamakti ret ko paani samjh ke dorte hain. Mugalta khate hain, tarpte hain. Log kehte hain ret ret hai paani nahi bun sakti. Aur kuch dana log is ret ko paani samjhne ki galti nahi kerte. Woh log dana hon ge, lekin main kehta hun, jo log ret ko paani samjhne ki galti nahi kerte - unki piyaas main zaroor koi kasar ho gi!"...

(From Amrita pritam book "Raseedi Ticket" describing a persian poem)

2 purani nasihataiN

Pehle zamane main jub lurki bihai jaati thi to use ghar wale do batain kehte the (filmoN main bhi ye jumle bohat sune).

Aik to ye ke: "Ab susral se tumhari laash hi nikalni chahiye"! (wow)
Dusri ye ke: "Mehka aur susral 2 band mutthioN ki tarah hai - dono alag hi rahain to behtar hai"

Aur main sochta tha kiya bakwas hai!

Lekin ab lagta hai buzurg itne galat bhi nahi the. Pehli baat ye ke aesa nahi tha ke unhe apni beti se muhabbat nahi hoti thi magar 'message' ye tha ke susral main 'issues' hote hain magar har baat pe ruth ke mehke aa jaana aqalmandi nahi. Dusri baat ye thi ke mehke aake susral ki burai kerna bhi koi achhi baat nahi.

Ali Haider

This blog is about how people reacts differently to events of life. Its about human relationships and stories from everyday life. It was little shocking when I came to know that Ali Haider (whose songs purani jeans, khushi aai bare din baad etc were my favorites) - has quit music and became a maulvi!

I think it was all his psychological reaction to one distressing event of life but should I be judgemental? 

The American

As I am on my spell of watching movies, I went to see "The American" - only because it stars George Clooney despite negative reviews.

No doubt it is a very slow movie. Its a drag and not a movie to watch on weekend night! - but theme is very interesting. It reminded me of Urdu short story writer Ghulam Abbas!

George Clooney (Jack) is a professional gunman who makes/delivers customised sharp shooters' guns. He has many enemies. Inside he is himself not very happy with his work but his life is like a butterfly taking him from one place to another place. Somewhere along the way he falls in love with a prostitute! and finally decides to settle down at one place with one woman leaving his criminal world - But if one's fate is to be butterfly - Alas! you can't get away from destiny - doesn't matter how smarter you are than enemy.

See trailer here.

Get low

If you like off beat movies and if you have time - go and see "Get Low". (BTW: I was the only person in whole theatre)

It is a love story but with different beat. It is a story of a man who banished himself from life for 40 years - little away from his own home town. But twist is - he is still little okha (stubborn) and still as smart as before. Town is full of creepy stories about him. Finally he decide to listen to all those gossips about himself but in a strange away. He invites people to his own funeral. But in actuality he wants to put his heart out to tell people a dark secret he is carrying inside and to tell why he self exiled himself from life.

Watch trailer here

Year's End by Jhumpa Lahiri

Jhumpa Lahiri remained one of my most favourite short story writer from second generation American-Indians. When I started reading her last collection of short stories "Unaccustomed Earth" I felt like she has lost touch but when I reached her story "Year's End" I found same old Jhumpa Lahiri who touches the depth of human emotions and psychology. What attached me to her writings are her characters of Desi Origin. I see my kids growing up in this country. I see myself in her stories.

"Year's End" is a story of a young semi-ABCD Bengali boy named Kaushik. His mother died of breast cancer and he internalized that sorrow. Now his father gets married to another woman, brought from back home and he suddenly end up in a house with 2 step-sisters. His hidden anger towards his father and her new mother but simultaneously his affection towards 2 girls is well described. Suddenly he blew out one evening and left home - that night change him forever and how he remained lost till his death (which is actually in another story).

With his father: "We were stating facts and at the same time arguing, an argument whose depths only he and I could fully comprehend"

With Girls: "I sensed that they needed me to guard them, as I needed them, from the growing, incontrovertible fact that Chitra and my father now formed a couple. My presence was proof that my mother had once existed, just as they represented the physical legacy of their dead father.......They never spoke of their own father, but one night I woke up to the sound of Piu
screaming, locked inside a nightmare, asking for her Baba again and again".

At the end when he had last meaningful conversation with his father (like losing his father too): "And without our having to say it, I knew we were both thankful to Chitra for chafing under whatever lingered of my mother's spirit in the place she has last called home and for forcing us to shut its doors".

Raj Kapoor or Dilip Kumar?

Bollywood remained divided on the claim that in the immediate post-independence era - who was the better actor? - Dilip or Raj Kapoor. For a long time, I remained convinced that Raj Kapoor was better than Dilip, but as I continue to mature in life, I can see why Dilip is heralded as a bigger actor. See the following clip - Dilip has 'control' that all other actors lack in Bollywood, including Raj Kapoor, Amitabh, or today's SRK (he is dying to get it). The only person who comes close in today's Bollywood for this quality is Ajay Devgan (though not very good looking he survived on this quality).

 

Lurki aur khamoshi

Hamari bari Apa (my first cousin) apne abbu ki ikloti thiN is liye sir charhi thiN. Hamari Dadi unhe aksar nasihat kiya kartin ke: "Lurki ka sab se bara gun uski khamoshi hota hai" (Girl's biggest virtue is her silence).

Main apne aap ko bara 'liberal' samjhta tha aur buzurgoN ki aesi baton ko daqyanusi samjhta tha magar ab aadhi zindagi guzarne ke baad lagta hai ke dadi sahi kehti thiN.

2 inner wolves

(I have posted this before on blog 2/3 years ago. But I think this is an important lesson in life to get reminded again and again).


One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between 2 wolves inside us all."

"One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego."

"The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather Which wolf wins?

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Aulad se mohabbat - aik sawal

Kiya ye sach hai ke - insaan 'adopted kids' se woh mohabbat kubhi bhi nahi ker sakta jo use apne batan se paida hone wali aulad se hoti hai?

(Mujeh to aesa nahi lagta magar log yahi kehte hain)

Bura Waqt

Har insaan ki zindagi main achhe bure dinoN ka 'roller coaster' chalta rehta hai. Achha waqt to asani se kut jaata hai magar bure waqt ka aik aik lamha giraN hota hai - Magar jis bure waqt ki tapish se insaan main sach bolne ki quwwat na aaye woh waqt siwaye bojh dhaane aur mazdoori ke kuch nahi!

Ajeeb apni ye zindagi hai!

I am putting this song on this blog as it coincides with theme of this blog. It is sung by a relatively new artist from Karachi named Javeria (for a TV serial I guess) but I think poetry, music and her voice impressed me (and its not easy to impress me!)

Ajeeb apni ye zindagi hai -
sameto jitna, bikhar rahi hai
hum aik pal ko bhi jee na paye
(aur) ye lamha lamha guzar rahi hai

Predictably Irrational

I wanted to write this post for a while. I was lucky to get introduced to this book: "Predictably Irrational" by Dan Ariely. This is one of the most interesting books I have read so far and finished almost in one sitting.

This book talks about how psychology plays part in carving human economy, not only at personal level but at corporate as well as global level. How everything including emotions are relative to each other. How advertisements fool our brian. Why its easty to buy $3000 TV but hard to pay $2 on item at store! What's wrong with whole idea of demand and supply. One interesting chapter is all about power of "zero". How human brain get deceive by concept of free. Why people get intimidate by hard cash.

How social relationships get screwed when money finds it way into it. He says: we like to believe and behave like social but caring animals but how our inside animal comes out when things go on sale! How our decision power changes when we are 'high'! Why 'procrastination' soothes human mind. How we value our belongings more than it deserve in market ("Virtual Ownership") and play havoc with us!

Why keeping options open is not a great idea. How it hurts when we don't decide and let life take with us. It talks about power of expectations and price. Why restaurants price one dish so expensive knowing nobody gonna order it (because people will order second most expensive with psychology of having best but not wanting to pay too much...lol)

It tells us how corruption at individual level effects whole system. Why we feel comfortable getting free stuff from work. How it hurts when people return stuff in departmental store unethically. It teaches us trust, power of distrust and honesty.

I granted Dan Ariely the rutba of babaji!

Cash!

Cash is the most popular religion. (annonymous)

Sufi Baba Warren Buffett's says

Babaji Warren Buffett says:

The power of unconditional love. I mean, there is no power on earth like unconditional love. And I think that if you offered that to your child, I mean you’re 90 percent of the way home. There may be days when you don’t feel like it, it’s not uncritical love, that’s a different animal, but to know you can always come back, that is huge in life. That takes you a long, long way. And I would say that every parent out there that can extend that to their child at an early age, it’s going to make for a better human being.

Read full story here