On Husband Wife 'laraii'

Hamara bachpun kuch yun guzra ke saara khandan saath aik haveli main rahta. Bare Chacha aur Bari Chachi ki khub laraii hoti. Jub bhi unki laraii hoti Dadi hame le ker ghar ke aangan main aa bethti aur hame kahaniyan sunane lagti. Abba ya Amma main se koi kehta ke: "Amma aap hi in donoN ko samjhayain", to dadi jawab deti:

"Jub do mian biwi ki laraii ho rahi ho to sab se bari kher yahi hai ke un dono ko akela chor do ke ye muamla kisi ke bhi fahem se balatar hai" .

Asim Butt - another to die in dark lane

Asim Butt ne Khud kushi nahi ki bulke use hum sab ne mil ker maara hai

naarsai agar apni taqdeer thee
teri ulfat to apni he tadbeer thee
kisko shikva hai agar shouq ke silsiley
hijr ki qatal_gahooN se sab ja miley
qatal_gahooN se chun kar humarey alum
aur niklaiN gaiN usshaq ke qafley
jin ki raah-e-talab se humarey qadam
muKhtasar kar chaley dard ke fasley
kar chaley jin ki Khatir jahaaN_geer hum
jaaN gaNva ke teri dilbaree ka bharam
hum jo tareek rahooN main marey gaey (Faiz)*

See Asim's work here

Read more here, here, here, and here

*If not to reach you was our fate
but to love you was our accord
So who complains if these matters of desire
brought me to death cell of (eternal) isolation
From same death cell holding up distinct flags,
new caravan of lovers will emerge
Their ardent desire made (my) steps
to shortened the distances of sorrow,
it’s because of them that we ruled the world,
By sacrificing life we entertained your heart
we who died in the darker lanes.

Messiah

I am out of medical school for now almost 20 years but I still recall these words of one of our teacher. At that time I though its so simple but it turned out to be one of the most difficult lesson to learn:

"Medicine is not about avoiding all deaths but its about helping alive humans from their sufferings and diseases. Its all about making everyday life easy for humans - and once its over - to make their dying process graceful and peaceful" .

3 Things

Life is perfect when you have 3 things together -

• Steak which is tender and medium done,
• Woman who loves wine, and
• Puffs of tobacco in cold weather!

2 great modern day sufi babas!!

"I think the world's a better place because Bill realised that his goal isn't to be the richest guy in the cemetery." - Steve Jobs about Bill Gates

"I'd give a lot to have Steve's taste. The way he does things is just different and, you know, I think it's magical." - Bill Gates about Steve Jobs

3 Idiots

I wanted to write this post since I saw Aamir Khan's new movie, "3 Idiots." It's worth watching. Though the second half is typical Indian cheezy drama, I enjoyed this movie. The theme is very strong. It reminded me of many of my strange, weird, funny, spooky, and unusual class fellows. Many of them quit medicine and did something else in life! One committed suicide and many turned psycho under pressure to pass exams.

But the central character (Aamir Khan) reminded me of Ejaz Ahmad. He entered medical school with us. He did all the exams with us. He was friends with all the big student union guys. Suddenly, he vanished in 4th year. I met him after many, many years. When I asked him about his whereabouts, he laughed very hard. He was never a student of our medical school. He was a police informer planted with new arrivals. He innocently said - I don't think you should blame me for this! I was doing my job for 5000 rupees per month...And I was thinking, how the hell did you pass all those medical exams, and what about all those deep discussions on anatomy, physiology, biochemistry......

Gaye dinon ka surag le ker kidhar se aaya kidhar gaya woh
Ajeeb ma'noos ajnabee tha, mujeh to heraan ker gaya woh

*

Dur kitni hai abhi subah

Part of one of my fav. Faiz' poetry (with loose translation)

Ho na ho apne qabile ka bhi koi lashkar
muntazir hoga andheron ki faseelon ke udhar
unko sholoN ke rajz apna pata to dain ge
kher hum tuk na pauncheN bhi, sada to dain ge
dur kitni hai abhi subah bata to dain ge


If no one but at least one army of our tribe
would be waiting on other side of walls of darkness (for us)
we will send them message by (making) noisy flames
they may not be able to reach but will call us
how far is dawn (for sure they) will tell us

Front desk

"I work at front desk of a 5 star hotel. Yes it hurts when people treat us like servants. I had more respect working in a simple low level motel. People with less money were more accomodative. No its not my fault - if you could not get upgraded private suite. Unfortunately few people have more money than you or probably you pressed wrong button making reservation. Yes we close our kitchen at 11 PM. Yes my hotel charge for continental breakfast. Its not my fault. You don't have to yell on me if your internet is not working. Yes sometime heaters, airconditions and toilets do not work properly even in best hotels but its not front desk person fault. We may sound polite on face but hope you can see our bleeding heart. I hope some day you understand - money does not give you passport to humiliate others knowing he is slave of his paycheck and your undue complaint may cause him his livelihood"

Kids-5

We had a few posts on having 'how many kids?' a few days ago (November 28 - December 4 posts). Here is one comment recently posted. I think it's worth sharing.

"Somehow, I bumped into your blog while searching something on Google. I read these posts on kids. I am not sure how my situation goes here but let me share. I have been married for 4 years, and I have had so far 3 miscarriages. All this time, I was blaming myself. I was very depressed. My marriage was breaking down. On my last miscarriage, we requested pathology. Pathology came back as a chromosome 17 defect. I think it was a blessing from the lord in disguise for us as well as for the soul we wanted to bring into our life. Life is not perfect, but I am happy now, and we know to get genetic testing even before trying. It's hard but a kind of guidance. If the fault lies in our genes, we will not have kids. May Jesus bless all of us on this Christmas".

 Thanks Dian.

Story of Adam and Eve.

Mard aurat se kuch aur nahi chahta siwaye charasaazi-o-gumgusaari ke, magar aurat naseh bun ker bohat kuch barbad ker deti hai.

Doctor Zhivago

Uncle Saugoree's post "Old story" reminded me of one of the best novel I ever read and get inspired in my life - Doctor Zhivago. I am posting relevant part from his post.

"To tell you the truth I was watching one old movie as usual and thought of it very different than when I first saw it, "Dr. Zhivago".One good thing for watching such oldies is that you dont have to watch it all can interrupt wherever and whenever you want to. Thus while watching I was carried into my own world of imagination.

As a Muslim why do I support the idea of a man, no matter who he is, for having married one woman and carrying on with another one so passionately that ultimately losing the life (You will recall at Omar Sharief's excellent portrayal of the acute coronary syndrome on seeing Laura). He obviously loved Laura more than he loved his wife, mother of at least two of his children. As a man of course you could love two women at the same time and equally which is human. I guess you could say the same for a woman too but women according some sayings of sages are "monogamous" by nature (Are they?)

Anyway, the villainous Komerov was right in saying about her, "a slut", and yet Laura was so devoted to Yuri (Dr. Zhivago).Well, it is such a moving story and catching and absorbing on the screen performed so well through MGM, and you cant help but moved by it and end up in sympathy with both Laura and Yuri and of course Tonya. It reminded me of Chacha Ghalib who while married loved another woman".

Sexual journey - Men & Women

I didn't agree but for sure pondered when I read this:

"Men's sexual journey starts with wandering eyes and polygamous nature but as they grow old they learn that only monogamous relationship works. Thats their comedy of error. Women's puberty sets in with monogamous mindset but as she grow more in life, she learns the pleasure of polygamous relationships. That's her tragedy of error"

On patronizing community

I had interesting talk with a colleauge. He is applying green card for his mother in Pakistan. I advise him to hire a 'gora' lawyer. He told me he is hiring a fresh Pakistani-American graduate who has just started his practice (ABCD bachha). I was little shocked. I asked: "Why?"

He replied: "If we will not patronize our own kids and graduates who else will?'

I think - it make sense.

Sadqa

Agar bachpun main hame koi chot lug jaati to dadi kehtiN: "Chalo achha huwa, bari musibat ka saqda huwa".

Kiya ye sach hoga ke zindagi main darasl koi chota nuqsan is baat ka istaa'ra hota hai ke hamara koi bara nuqsan hone wala tha magar qudrat ne hamari bachat ker di!

Land of opportunity

Rajan Bhai is one heck of a funny person. He came to this country in mid 70s from a small village of Gujrat, India. He worked hard and turned into a mutli-millionare businessman. (He is known in friend circle as 'crorepati') I like him as his views are always unique and I think he is a god-gifted smart man. He run his business in his own desi style. His one son finished MBA from an Ivy leayge school and joined him in business and is very frustrated with (per his say) unorganised way of running business. Here is a conversation between him (RB) and his son (S):

S: : "Daddy! can we sit down and jot precisely how much our all businesses worth?"

RB: "Tum janna chahte ho ke main ne ab tuk kiya kamaya"

S: "Kind of yes"

RB: "Beta! Jo kuch bhi hamare paas hai bus us main se aik shirt aur patloon minus ker do. Baqi jo kuch hai - tumhari eduation mila ke - woh sab kuch kamaya hi kamaya hai"


Rajan Bhai landed in this country with just one shirt and a pant. No wonder, people say this is a land of opportunity.

Pakistani Larki

I have short hair with blonde highlights. My accent is pure American. I wear Jeans and T shirts. I hang out with "gora bachhas". Most of my collection is of English songs. I watch American football. Yes, I do puff cigarettes and occasionally get drunk with beers at dorm parties.

Magar kabhi kabhi mera bhi dil kerta hai ke kisi desi dhabe pe khare ho kar pani puri khauN. Eid pe haatoN pe Mehndi lagauN aur bhare bhare duppatte wala shalwar kameez pahenuN. Ab bhi jub abbu 'youtube' pe Mehdi hasan sunte hain to mere pauN computer ke paas jum jaate hain aur mere dil ki dharkanaiN tez ho jaati hain. Main ne Lahore chora to saat (seven) baras ki thi magar ab bhi dil kerta hai ke ur (fly) ke Rabia khala ke aangan main paunch jaun aur aankh macholi khelun....

Ooper se hum ABCD lurkian kitni hi angrez nazar aa'ain magar hamare andar ki Pakistani lurki kubhi nahi marti!!

Thank you Masud

I mentioned on this blog about my broken friendship with Masud (here). This weekend I really missed him a lot. Somebody asked me to name a person whom I will be thankful ever in my life. I had few names and one was Masud.

In final year of my medical school - I completely lost touch with my education. I was having too much fun outside college, in hostel and in college's cafeteria. I lost track of all lectures, clinical rotations and practicals. I didn't touch any text book for months. A month before final exam I realized my stupidity after a surgeon degraded me during my seldom showup at one clinical rotation (I failed to read a simple CXR). I asked Masud - what should I do? Masud made a crash course of all subjects and suggested small booklets/articles instead of text books. He was my instant encyclopedia. I just didn't clear all subjects but secured upper high first division.

I want to thank you my friend Masud - where ever you are and if you ever read my blog.

Kids-4

Another important dimension added to previous posts on discussion of "number of kids to have" from a reader.

I have a son with "special needs " and a healthy normal daughter mashallah .The thought of having a third child scares the hell out of me.what if ?? I get another child with disabilities. At the same time the thought that my daughter will never have any normal brother-sister relationship, and that all the burden of a 'handicapped brother' will be on her shoulders, when we will not be with them anymore,"KILLS ME". It's "complicated''.

Kids-3

Somebody left comment regarding my previous posts on kids. I think this comment itself deserve a post.

And let me tell you why we never got second kid. My wife had very complicated pregnancy. She survived. I don't want her to go through same nightmare again putting her life at risk. Beside possible handicap kids and bad relationship, sometime strong bond also prevent you from having kids. Strange!!

Kids-2

I recieved this email on my previous post "Kids"

Dear Zindagi ki diary bhai,

I am married for 3 years and we have difficult marriage. We are fighting all the time. We are in Marriage counseling - which may even fail. I am already 34 years old. I don't want to bring a soul in this world not knowing our own relationship.

This is another reason people don't get more or even one kid.

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