On "Shopping Plazas"

(A friend asked me: Have I ever been to interior of Sindh? It took me to - purani diary se aik warq - Sujawal 2005)

Gaya tha main us purane Shahr

Sab kuch badal gaya hai
Na to ab woh school ke paas purani nahr hai aur na hi woh aaloo chole wala ram chand

Aur school se tumhare ghar tak woh jo 
aik purana sa mandir tha
Jo dhundhta tha kharabi ke bahaney kab se*
Jis ka chaak har baam, har ik dar ka dame-aakhir tha*
jahan har shaam, tumhara kumba pooja ke liye deep jalaya kerta tha
 - woh bil-aakhir ujaR gaya hai

(suna hai, mohalle ke saare hindu hindustan chale gaye)

Ab wahan aik shopping plaza hai
- aur us ki bunyadoN main madfoon hamara bachpan

- tumhe woh qadeem misri "King Tut" yaad hai na - jis ki kahani hum ne pehli baar 2 aane wali library se le ker paRhi thi - woh jis ki qabar kai hazaron saal baad daryaft hui, aur saari duniya hairaan reh gai
- haan andar sab kuch wesa hi tha

magar ooper dukanain aur jhoot fareb ke karobaar ka shor-o-goga tha

Gaya tha main us purane Shahr

*taken from Faiz poetry

An article to ponder

This article in NY Times published about 3 weeks ago and made some waves. In the beginning, I ignored it but as forward keep coming, I read it and indeed found it interesting. Read at your leisure

"can-evolution-have-a-higher-purpose"

He answered: “Yes, yes. There’s one theory of the universe that I rather like — I accept it in an almost joking spirit — and that is that Planet Earth in our solar system is a kind of zoo for extraterrestrial beings who dwell out there somewhere. And this is the best, the most interesting experiment they could set up: to set up the evolution on Planet Earth going in such a way that it would produce these really interesting characters — humans who go around doing things — and they watch their experiment, interfering hardly at all so that almost everything we do comes out according to the laws of nature. But every now and then they see something which doesn’t look quite right — this zoo is going to kill itself off if they let you do this or that.” So, he continued, these extraterrestrials “insert a finger and just change some little thing. And maybe those are the miracles which the religious people like to so emphasize.” He reiterated: “I put it forward in an almost joking spirit. But I think it’s a kind of hypothesis that’s very, very hard to dismiss.” 

Link: http://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/12/opinion/can-evolution-have-a-higher-purpose.html?_r=0

On "sense of moral privilege"

(Raskolnikov as he argues on ethics of violence in 'Crime and Punishment' of  Fyodor Dostoevsky - not just a novel but one fine commentary on poverty, crime, social norms, politics, religion and conscious)

"I simply hinted that an ‘extraordinary’ man has the right... that is not an official right, but an inner right to decide in his own conscience to overstep... certain obstacles, and only in case it is essential for the practical fulfilment of his idea (sometimes, perhaps, of benefit to the whole of humanity).
......
Then, I remember, I maintain in my article that all... well, legislators and leaders of men, such as Lycurgus, Solon, Mahomet, Napoleon, and so on, were all without exception criminals, from the very fact that, making a new law, they transgressed the ancient one, handed down from their ancestors and held sacred by the people, and they did not stop short at bloodshed either, if that bloodshed—often of innocent persons fighting bravely in defence of ancient law—were of use to their cause. It’s remarkable, in fact, that the majority, indeed, of these benefactors and leaders of humanity were guilty of terrible carnage. In short, I maintain that all great men or even men a little out of the common, that is to say capable of giving some new word, must from their very nature be criminals—more or less, of course. Otherwise it’s hard for them to get out of the common rut; and to remain in the common rut is what they can’t submit to, from their very nature again, and to my mind they ought not, indeed, to submit to it...

....I only believe in my leading idea that men are in general divided by a law of nature into two categories, inferior (ordinary), that is, so to say, material that serves only to reproduce its kind, and men who have the gift or the talent to utter a new word. There are, of course, innumerable sub-divisions, but the distinguishing features of both categories are fairly well marked. The first category, generally speaking, are men conservative in temperament and law-abiding; they live under control and love to be controlled. To my thinking it is their duty to be controlled, because that’s their vocation, and there is nothing humiliating in it for them. The second category all transgress the law; they are destroyers or disposed to destruction according to their capacities. The crimes of these men are of course relative and varied; for the most part they seek in very varied ways the destruction of the present for the sake of the better. But if such a one is forced for the sake of his idea to step over a corpse or wade through blood, he can, I maintain, find within himself, in his conscience, a sanction for wading through blood—that depends on the idea and its dimensions, note that. It’s only in that sense I speak of their right to crime in my article.... .....

The first category is always the man of the present, the second the man of the future. The first preserve the world and people it, the second move the world and lead it to its goal. Each class has an equal right to exist....."

Bayan Pir Shams Multani ka

Shehar Multan ki 3 cheezain bohat mashoor hain - Gird, Garmi aur Gada - Aur mujeh is ka khob tajarba huwa

Ye 1997 ki baat hai. Main Pakistan ja raha tha. Chalte huwe mere aik roommate ne kaha ke: "Mujhe residency nahi milti. Hum Multan main Hazrat Shah Shams ke manne wale hain. Ye meri niyaz ke paise hain. Agar tum Multan ja ker unki mazar pe de do to mujeh tasalli rahe gi". 

- Main to khud Allah Rasool se munkir tha, magar us ka dil rakhne ko waada ker liya. Irada to yahi tha ke Karachi main kisi mazar pe de ker usey jhoot bol dunga, magar pata nahi kiya dil main aayi ke main Multan chala gaya.

June ka Mahina tha - aur jis din main train station se utra shehar main aandhi chal rahi thi (sandstorm) - ye wahan ke makeenoN ke liye aam si baat thi. Darjaaye hararat (temperature) 46 degree centigrade tha. Main station ke saath aik aam se hotel main theR gaya. Shaam ko garmi kuch kum hui to main ne aik Taxi li aur Hazrat Shams Multani ke mazar pe chala gaya. Niyaz ke paise wahan nazar kiye, hasbe wada dost ke liye dua maangi, aur Chai peene aik hotel pe beth gaya. 

Hotel ke saath hi gada-garoN aur faqeeroN ki mehfil jami thi. Harmonium pe bari sureli awaz main aik faqeer, Hazrat Shams Multani ka kalam ga raha tha. Allah jaane us kalam main kitni sachhai hai - magar kahani kuch yun thi ke - farishta Allah ke rasool se kalam ker raha hai - aur kehta hai - Is duniya se main aahista aahista aik ke baad aik ker ke das cheezain (10 things) le jaun ga. Jab ye das cheezain chali jaayain to samjhna qayamat ke asar hain. Main ne jeb se pen/diary nikali aur ye das batain note ker li. Bohat saaloN baad ye kagaz haat aaya.

Farishta Rasool se kehta hai 

Paheli baar cheezon se barakat le jaun ga
Dusri baar rishton se mohobat le jaun ga
Teesri baar Allah ki rahemat le jaun ga
Chothi baar Aurat Mard se sharam le jaun ga
Paanchwi baar daulat walon se sakhawat le jaun ga
Chati baar logon ka Iman le jaun ga
Saatween baar Logon ka Qol Qarar le jaun ga
Aathween baar hakim se adal le jaun ga
Naween baar duniya se sabar le jaun ga 
Dasween baar ilme-Quran le jaun ga

Sach poocho - to ye sab kuch duniya se kab ka ja chuka!! 
 -  magar na to zara sa koi patta hila, na koi qayamat aayi  
------ Allahu Alam

Baqol Faiz:: 
Rakht-e-dil bandh lo, dil figaro chalo 
phir hameen qatl ho aain, yaro chalo

Father

Hasan Koozagar

(My hats off to this beautifully done Tele version of N.M Rashid's classic "Hasan-Koozagar*)

Youtube link: https://youtu.be/OsCnvuMK-0o

Hasan Koozagar is said to be the true tell of NMR. It is said that while on deputation in Iran somewhere in the 1950s, he fell in love with an Iranian girl, which took a lot of toll on his life, job, poetry, and painting. He wrote Part 2 of Hasan Koozagar when he returned to Iran later, but part 2 never found that audience as Part 1.

Hasan Koozagar continues to mesmerize readers at one end due to its language's profound effect. On the other hand, this was a unique experiment of developing a wholly human character/psych in poetic form. 

Hasan Koozagar har insaan ke andar basne wali us khoi hui mohbbat ki kahani hai, jo aahista aahista use andar se ghun ki tarah kha jaati hai.

On "Unnecessary Truth"

As I am getting older, I tend to agree that

"Bagair zaroorat ya be-moqa bola huwa sach bhi fasad hi bapa kerta hai. Jis cheez ka parda Allah ne rakha ho - us pe zaroorat na ho - to hijab paRe rehne dena hi aqalmandi hai"

Urdu adab ki aik trajedy

Urdu adab ki ye aik aesi trajedy, jo mujeh aksar udas ker deti hai. Jab pehli baar Parveen Shakir ki mulaqat Joan Aelia se hui to unhon ne kaha: "Hum aap ki Shayeri se bohat mutasir hain". To Jaun sahab ne jawaban ye shyr paRha:

‎کتنی دلکش ہو تم ، کتنا دِل جو ہوں میں 

‎کیا ستم ہے كے ہم لوگ مر جائینگے

Uske kuch arse baad Parveen Shakir is Jahane faani se kooch ker gayiN. Jaun sahab ke intaqal ke saath ye shyr lafz ba larf sach saabit ho gaya. Parveen Shakir apni ain dilkashi ke joban per - aur Jaun sahab jab Urdu mushayere ke sab se dil-Jo shayer Therey - chaley gaye

Dusra misrah peechle do-teen mahinoN se aksar mujeh raat ke ghoop andheroN main haunt kerta rehta hai

Queen

"King or Castle?"
"Queen!"

On "Meditation and Discipline"

Few days back, a friend mentioned about meditation. It brought back to my memories this picture - The first step of meditation is discipline as you can see neatly placed footwears of monks at the entrance of worship place.

On "Bit Bit Dying"

Azan

"You went to Pakistan after good 30 years. How was your trip? Do you miss Pakistan after coming back?"

"I don't miss Pakistan but yes I do miss one thing since I am back. I feel very empty without it"
.
"Interesting! what is that?"

"Yaar apne mohalle ki masjid ki paanch waqt ki azan ki awaz ko bohat miss kerta hun. Mujh jesa daheriya - aur magreeb ki zindagi main dooba huwa - womenizer - aur har raat whisky peene wala aadmi - ye baat kahe to ajeeb hi lagta hai - magar sach bhi yahi hai".

Miracle of Red Mountains

"Shayed ye sach hai ke laal pahaRon pe jo kaleesa hai
   - woh kaleesa jis ke parto main maryam sadion se apni aulad ko god main uthaaye khaRi hai
-- wahan jaa ker dua maangne se maryam ki mamta ke sadqe har dua qabool ho jaati hai"

(Above post was written years ago when I visited Sedona and prayed at Chapel of the Holy Cross and my prayer was indeed answered. It is one unique place on earth where mountains have naturally formed Madonna and child on rocks. Found in my one old diary).

A Quote

TOO MUCH ABSTRACT THOUGHT MAKES MEN CRUEL

~  'dostoevsky'

Man O Salwa

"Jo aasman se utray wahi Man O Salwa 
- Werna zameen se siwaaye kakRi sabzi ke aur kiya ugg sakta hai"

Sach

Sach to paani ki tarah hota hai 

 - jo har kisi ko, uske apne gondhe huwe piyale main milta hai
 - baRi baat -
usey Suqraat ki tarah peene ki hai

Race

"Tum ne class ki aakhri bench pe bethne wale us laRke ko to dekha hoga, jo zindagi ki race main sab se aage nikal jaata hai - or phir aik din use aehsaas hota hai - ke kahin koi galati ho gai hai"!

A Quote

2500 years ago, Euripides said: "Cleverness is not wisdom"

As Ustad Zauq said:

NazaaN na ho khird pe, jo hona ho wohi ho 
Danish teri, na kuch meri danishwari chaley

Kum honge is bisaat pe hum jese bad-Qimaar
Jo chaal hum chaley, so nihaayat buri chaley

On little break from blogosphere

Lately,  it is getting hard for me to physically reach to desktop to blog. Will be off for a while -

On "Ghost Stories"

"Is it bad that I believe in ghost stories?"
"No! Actually it is good. It tells me that you are not superficial and  intend to look for more deeper meanings in life"

Aakhri Nuqta

(posted as shared)

Jab doctors ne kaha ke: peripheral films dekh ke lagta hai ke 'blast crisis' hai, shayed AML ho - to bhai khuda ki qasam, MD Anderson ki deewar se lag ker mujhe zara sa bhi dar nahi laga tha 

- magar aik ajeeb si baat hui - 

mujhe aesa laga maut ki bajayae phir woh mera geeraban tham ke aik baar phir se wahi kuch keh rahi hai.....: 'Tumhe kaun rokta hai, jao duniya ki jis aurat ke saath chahye let ker jitne chaho bachhe paida karo, magar maut se pehle sirf aik baar mere ho jao'.... 

Ab tumhe kese bataun woh kaun thi, kesi thi..... 

magar  thero - 

haan shayed woh dikhne main wesi thi..abhi TV pe aik drama chala tha, bohat logon ne dekha, tum ne bhi dekha ho ga - Man Mayal - Us main jo Mannu thi - us ke jesi thi - magar mujhe tab bhi us ka khayal nahi aaya tha

naranji rang us ko bohat pasand tha. Us roz jab woh aakhri baar mera geereban pakaR ke roi thi tab bhi us ne usi rang ke shalwar qameez pehna tha....

Pata nahi, kab kahan kese, doctors ne us ko baanjh (infertile) qarar de diya tha. Aur phir woh zamanon aur sarhadon ki gard main aesi chupi ke jese thi hi nahi -

- magar -

us lamhe jab main doctor's appointment ke baad aa ker saans lene ko corridor main deewar se lag ker khaRa huwa to bhai Allah jaane woh aik dam kahan se aa gai- aur maut ki bajaye jese woh - phir puri quwwat se mera geereban tham ke khari ho aur us ke aansuon aur hichkion se mera daman tar ho - aur keh rahi ho -

'Jao poori duniya tumhare liye paRi hai, jahan chahe, jitna chahe bhaagte phiro, tumhe kaun rokta hai, jao duniya ki jis aurat ke saath chahye let ker jitne chaho bachhe paida karo, magar maut se pehle sirf aik baar mere ho jao'....  

Bhai! jab maut insaan ki aankhon main aankhain daal ker khari hoti hai - to kiun kuch log aik dam se yun saamne aa khare hote hain jese jumle ka aakhri hurf - aakhri nuqta, abhi likha jana baqi ho.

- log kehte hain - Hindustan Pakistan ki phir se jang hone wali hai - saare jahaz khali hain - magar chemotherapy se pehle mera aik ticket kerwa do!!

On "Blessings in Disguise"

"Aulad na hona bhi Allah ki aik rehmat hai"

"Lo kiya ajeeb duniya jahaan se nirali baat ker di"

"Ye sach hai. Insaan ki aulad jab dukh se guzarti hai - aur us dukh ko dekh ker aadmi jitna dukhi hota hai - us ko sehnaa har insaan ke bas ki baat nahi. Mere rab ki is be-rehmi main bhi insaan hi ke liye asaani chupi hai".

Anger

On "unanswered prayers"

In last few weeks, I had to go through some issues in life which required a lot of prayers. In some moments of despondency, as it always happens you get a solace, a ishara or a guidance. I received this forwarded message and it put peace in my heart.

On "khud-numaaii"

"Hamare aik babaji kehte the! jhoot se nijaat to choti manzil hai. Allah ke raaste ka koi bhi maskhara zara si tapasiya se ye manzil paa leta hai - magar us ke aage bohat baRi rukawat khud-numaaii ki hai - baRe baRe surma is aag se bach nahi paate aur saari umar is pahaR ko kaat ke raasta banane main sarf ho jaati hai. Yahi anaa ko maarne ki pehli aur sab se kaThan manzil hai".

Aik Amar Kahani

On "Superiority of Numbers"

I think it was Al-Khwarizmi who said that "numbers are superior to words". I never paid much attention to this till I was introduced to master mathematician Leonhard Euler's famous "Identity". The formula is considered to be the most beautiful of all mathematical derivatives. It says: 

When you drive* Cos, Sin and Pi value (which basically encompasses circle and axes) with an imaginary number i and a constant e, you get zero. So mathematically, it can be proven that everything either manifested from nothing (should say zero) or will degrade into nothing. 

Na tha kuch to khuda tha kuch na hota to khuda hota 

Daboya mujh ko hone ne, na hota main to kiya hota

* You may need to google the whole derivative of formula

On "Faith and Ethics"

Some people are so firm in their Iman (and their ethics) that it astonish me. I was asked by a parent of one of my student. Following is a very brief conversation which will tell you the whole story.

"Beta! Tum poora din hospital main residency kerti ho. Phir ghar jaati ho ya jumma parhne masjid. Baqi waqt kitaboN main juti rehti ho. Aese to tumhe koi rishta nahi mile ga. Apne parents ke saath dawatoN, shadioN wagera pe chali jaya karo. Un ka bhi dil reh jaaye ga".

"Sir! Woh chahye ga to saathi bhi likh dega, jis ne mere liye izzat ka kaam aur rizqe-halal ki naimat likh di hai, magar main apni in zimmedarioN se bewafaii to nahi ker sakti"

On "Downfall"

"Tum jaante ho insaan ka zawal kab shuru hota hai?"

"Jub woh is fareb main mubtala hota hai ke woh apne kaam main dusroN se behter hai, aur un ki tehqeer shuru ker deta hai. Bus wahin se us ke zawal ka aagaz hota hai"

RIP - Steve Jobs

When Steve Jobs died 5 years ago, I was sad. Despite all his shortcomings as a human, he left a deep mark on history. I learned a lot by reading his autobiography. He was a kind of a sufi baba of modern time. To quote him:

"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future, You have to trust in something: your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life." - Steve Jobs

On "Acceptance of Death"

I work in a profession where every day I see people making peace with death and their agony. It is very sobering. It always flashed back in my head final paragraphs of Leo Tolstoy's "The Death of Ivan Ilyich" (here). Today an interesting statement made by my one patient.

"I was afraid I will die, then I was afraid I will not die"!

On "The Human Pledge or Ehd-e-alast"

(On my request, uncle expressed his thoughts on Ehd-e-Alast)

There are many pledges/oaths Qur'an talks about like the pledge taken by Bani Israel or the one taken by all the prophets and also the oath taken from the last prophet and we know of some pledges on the earth like the one the Muslims took under that tree outside Makkah (Hudaibiya).

There is one called ehd-e-Azal, as it is described in Qur'an in surah Al-A'raaf (VII) aya # 172. "And (remember) when your Lord brought forth from the children of Adam, from their loins, their seed (or from Adam's loin his offspring) and made them testify as to themselves (saying) 'am I not your Lord?, they said 'Yes we testify', lest you should say on the day of resurrection, 'verily we are not aware of it' " (I have used translation of Dr Muhsen rather than Yusuf Ali or others because he uses the word seed ). Also known in Urdu as "ehd-e-alast" taken from "alast-o-beRabbikum".

It is said that it is not just 'allegorical' description but an actual event that occurred after Allah SWT decided to send Adam AS to the earth. Some Ahadeeth say as soon as he descended on earth (in the Arafaat grounds). Descriptions of hadeethes given in various books of tafseer indicate how everybody understood n his/her own way the "taking out of all the persons to be born up-till the "Qiyamah" (how it happened). Clearly this was as good a miracle as the of birth of Adam AS or that of Amman Hawwa (Eve) and so there is no reason to reject that as a possibility but only accepting it as it is, rather than trying to derive some explanation from hadeeth descriptions. I see that many sahaba say this is how the prophet SAWS told us. Yet, the truth is best known to Allah SWT. The prophet himself could only talk in the terms that Sahaba could understand. We as His creation should just accept it as he wants us to. I do not wish to quote ahadeeth or what I understand from tafseers but just for example I shall give my understanding.

Tafheem-ul-Quran says the whole progeny of Adam AS was created out of Adam's Pusht (Sulb in Arabic) and not just the roohs (meaning rooh plus bodies). Then explanations need where on earth such a large collection of human beings could be placed. Some others say they were extremely small in body like ants (yes I read this in tafseer). Meaning that they did not require a large ground. Ibn-e- Kaseer says- what I understand- they were 'roohs' who were brought out and questioned and then put back (into the "Sulb") and this may seem more plausible than tafheem explanation. But really we dont have to think out in such terms as to how and where it happened.

As physicians/scientists (and this is purely my own idea, not meant for discussion) we may postulate possibility of 'gametes' (the seed) from which whole human body develops could have been miraculously brought out and placed back and of course Allah SWT can give the same understanding and ability to talk/say as the pledge to anything. But as I said before it is much easier to accept this miracle as it says in Qur'an than rely on any hadeeth (Not denying ahadeeth or the authority of it or that of prophet SAWS - Far it be from me to even think about it). If you will recall Allah SWT warned people not to question unnecessary things while Quran is being revealed (S. V, Aya 104 and 105) because it may turn your faith away. That is a very important aya/warning for us to stay away from going into explanations of things that are unnecessary. All we need to do is believe in that Ehd.

You also know some people from Sahaba (Ali RA for example) said they remember that pledge very clearly in their memory. Also that pledge forms the basis of the frequently quoted hadeeth that "every child is born a Muslim but the parents make him/her Christian or Jew or Majoosi" And this I am saying from Tafseer, not just my idea.

May Allah forgive me for my mistakes and misunderstanding and/or mis-interpretations.

On "Ilm, Imtihan and Tajarba"

"Babaji! aap kehte hain ilm se darna chahiye. Ye to baRi ajeeb baat ki aap ne"

"Are is main koi ajeeb baat nahi. Ataai-ilm ki surat kuch aur hai. Jab Ilm ataa hota hai to bachhu free main nahi hota! - us ke foran baad - aik dum se aazmaish ki ghaRi aa jaati hai. Jese chori na kerne ka, geebat na kerne ka, bad-nazri na kerna ka ya khamosh rehne ka ilm - kisi ishaare se ataa hota hai to - darna chahiye - kiunke  foran koi 'opportunity' aa jaati hai, jahan chori ka moqa milta hai, geebat ki mehfil sajti hai, bad-nazri ka maza milta hai ya bak-bak kerne ka package haat aa jaata hai. Pehle ilm aata hai, uske foran baad aazmaish ki ghaRi aati hai aur yahi tajarba us ilm ki tosee' (attestation) kerta hai. Aik ke baad aik ilm-o-aazmish ki ghaRi insaani ruh ko kundan banane ke liye sulagti rehti hai. Par jise is aag ki tapish hi mehsoos na ho, woh jiya bhi to kiya aur na jiya bhi to kiya."

On "Love and war" - 2

Following is an email on a little sentimental post 2 days ago - "Love and War" -here

"I browse your blog frequently but am not very good at leaving messages. But your post on war and love made me send you this email, as it touched a nerve. I was born in a very wealthy memon family in Karachi. We were business tycoons. Afterward, I decided to join public service in Pakistan. It was a conventional and unwritten rule that everything is fair in business and diplomacy. There is no friend and no enemy. You only guard your interests. As a public officer in foreign service, I had to deal at my level when the Siachen issue came. Later, I could not take corruption and political pressure in public service. I retired and moved to Canada, and I learned that human emotions play the most vital role in war, love, business, diplomacy, or any other aspect of life. Humans can go up to any extent to sustain their power, ego, wealth, anger, or pleasure. Unfortunately, things get uglier as you go high in the hierarchy. You may have heard of Qudratullah Shahab, a well-decorated and most well-known Pakistani public servant of his time. His assessment was: "His whole bureaucracy was nothing but the smell of gutter and the toilet." I agree with you. Low-level creatures are those who think everything is fair in love and war. Unfortunately, they never did and don't even intend to teach ethics in our classrooms."

*

THE GOSSIP

(Koonj is one heck of a blogger (link here) and I immensely learned from her. She is an extremely learned person. Once she did an amazing post on Gossip and Backbiting. here and here).

Following hikayat is on same line

A member of a parish shared false gossip about the pastor of the church she attended. It became apparent that many believed, or at least passed on the gossip to others. The pastor became discouraged, was held accountable for these lies, and lost credibility in the town. A few weeks later, the woman came and shared with the pastor, her guilt in the rumor spreading, she asked for forgiveness and the pastor said he would forgive her if she would do one thing for him. She agreed.

The pastor then took a feather pillow from his house, climbed the town water tower and cut the pillow open spreading the feathers to the wind. He climbed down and asked her to refill and mend the pillow to be forgiven for her act against him. She said it was not possible to collect all the feathers. He replied, it was also impossible for him to recover from the gossip she spread in the community.

On "Love and War"

Kum-Zarf hain woh log jo kehte hain: 

"Mohabbat aur jang main har cheez jaaiz hai"

On "Solace of Third Child"

Every year, I have few friend and colleagues, who at this time of the year get saddened due to "empty nest syndrome", as their kids move out for colleges. USA is a huge country. Despite best efforts, good colleges are usually far and very few parents can keep their children home. It is relatively harder on desi parents as they are as I guess more protective. Out of many stories I hear, following made me smile, so sharing.

"Our third child was an accident. He was born almost 10 years after elder siblings. We were not happy as we always planned to take life easy once both kids are out to college. This unplanned third child at that moment for a while feels like a hurdle. No! we never believed in abortion. It was our child. We loved him anyway. This year, both elders went to college simultaneously and empty house was outrageously depressing. Suddenly, our lives were changed. It does not hit you until that day arrive when you come home after dropping them to their dorm - and they don't come home with you.  We all are so idiots. We plan things and don't value our possessions till we actually know their worth. Human emotions and bonding can't be planned like we so called professionals try to do alike our jobs, finances, house, retirements, investments and cars. Trust me 'empty nest' is a real phenomenon. It depresses people. It changes people. It is slowly draining. Now we find our solace in our third child. He is more precious than ever before. Now we kiss our third child more than ever before".

Related post on empty nest: Nageen

On "Rooh"

I requested Saugoree uncle to write on the concept of "Rooh" from Islamic perspective. He was kind enough to do this for me. I am posting below but you can read this on his blog too here.


I wrote "Rooh" and not "Soul" because the word Rooh is slightly better understood by Muslims. The other reason is that in English sometimes "soul" can be used for persons like "I did not see a single soul in the ground" meaning a human being or a person, but Rooh is not used in this manner but always in the manner of the 'spirit' which again in English can be used with a different meaning so I did not say spirit either. 

Rooh is a non-corporeal or ethereal thing which is easier to understand but difficult to define. For discussion we will confine ourselves to Human soul. In the same way, we are quite familiar with 'life' and 'death' but defining these is not as simple. We know that when a person dies his/her rooh leaves the body and that is the teaching in all religions. Philosophy came to similar conclusions and science has nothing else to offer. 

We can say that there are two sources of human knowledge: 

One: Intelligence or Aql given to us by our Creator that we use both for philosophy as well as scientific study consisting of Observation, experimentations and Conclusion/derivation. Thomas Aquinas calls this "natural revelation" as compared to the revelation from God that we call scripture. and so the,

Second: is Revelation. Since we cannot observe or experiment on such ethereal substance we must depend upon God's revelation to determine the truth about rooh/soul. Most religions teach that Rooh is not destructible. 

Islamic perspective: Further knowledge about Rooh in Islam is based on Qur'an and Saheeh Ahadeeth. I frequently quote the Verse "They ask thee concerning the 'Rooh', Say, the Rooh comes from the command of my Lord; it is only a little of knowledge, that is given to you (O men)" (#85 of Sura Bani Israeel ). I feel as though here, the creator is telling us about rooh and saying that you can't have any more knowledge about it (That is not what most mufassireen say, that is only my feeling). From Saheeh Ahadeeth we learn: That 'rooh' enters the body (by the command of Allah) at a particular time while the body of human being is acquiring shape in the womb of the mother and it leaves the body (by the command of Allah) at the time of death. There is also some knowledge as to what happens to it after it leaves the body. Qur'an tells us it also leaves the body during sleep (Verse 42 of sura Zumur the 39th Sura) but still maintains a connection with the body but that connection is permanently lost at the time of death. After death (of the body) Rooh enters into a state of "in between" called Berzakh in Arabic (where it can meet with other "arwah" or roohs) and will reunite with the body (may be in a different way) at the time of resurrection (al-Quiyamah).

On "old man in the House"

This blog is all about how people feel, see and experience life. We may not agree and it may shock us but things happen differently to different people.

Main jab bhi apne shahr ki desi market jaata hun to Shakir sahab se mulaqat hoti hai. Bus jaan pehcaan bhi aese hi hui ke jab jao, woh apni makhsoos dukan ke bahir khaRe ho ke 'sutta' laga rahe hon ge - aur har aane jaane wale se baatain kerte rahain gey. Ab to koi 12 baras hone ko aa gaye - magar shakir sahab ki us paan ki dukan, peele shalwar kameez aur sutte main koi faraq naa aaya.

Aik din main ne Shakir sahab se mazaqan kaha: "aap kabhi ghar bhi jaate ho ya nahi?"

UnhoN ne jawab diya: "Jab bachhe baRe ho jaayain aur biwi bad-zuban ho, to ghar main mard ki hessiyat aik bhaRwe jesi ho jaati hai. Isi liye ghar nahi jaata".

On "True Love"

On "Pseudo-Patriotism"

I have to be honest here. I never get impressed with this writer, named Umerah Ahmad. Though I was told she is very popular in Pakistan, I never found her more than a glorified digest writer. But indeed, she is a fluent writer and knows how to put words together. Few days back, on this blog we talked about patriotism. Somebody send me this on forward and I agree with her that this whole concept of going back and spend retirement in native country is bogus and in my dictionary, you can call it "Pseudo-patriotism". Well written.

On "Being Immortal"

As I previously said here that some people are so smart that it boggles my mind - and I am surrounded by crazy psychologically dyslexic friends. 2 weeks ago, on the labor day long weekend, few of my friends visited from out of town. Jokingly, at the dinner table, one friend threw this question: "If you have only 5 seconds to decide that if wish comes true, will  you become immortal with the bonus of always staying young?" (amar jawan rehna). Out of six friends, five said yes in an instant. Everybody start looking at the one who said No. You may not agree, but his explanation was:

"Once you know that you will never die, and as there will be no fear of death, the probability is that you will turn apathetic and an evil and will do more harm to surrounding humans. Secondly, you may become irrelevant to other people, as people thrive on your love knowing that one day you will die! Thirdly, it would not be easy to see your children and grandchildren suffering and dying in front of you. In short, eventually it will take pleasure out of life".

It reminded me of  Chacha Ghalib:

Hawas ko hai nishate-kaar kiya kiya
na ho marna to jeene ka maza kiya

Eid and Parents

Early this morning in  the hospital, I met my one good Indian-Muslim colleague and said: "Eid Mubarak". As we took a corner to exchange greetings, he said something - and I was all day thinking about it. He said:

"Eid ab kahan! Bus Eid pe ab Ammi Abbu shiddat se yaad aate hain. Eid ki namaz ke liye abbu ka hamare liye gusal ka paani garam kerna, se le ker ammi ka naashte pe aehtmam tak. Ab sab kuch hai magar Eid ki woh subah nahi".

Choti si baat thi, magar poora din mere dil ko andar hi andar udas kerti rahi. 

Be-wajah baatoN pe aen waen gor kare
Dil sa koi kamina nahi ........

Aik kaRwa sach?

(From discussion last night among friends. I don't know but certainly, it hit me badly)

Chahye lakh taaweelaiN pesh karo, magar is haqiqat se inkaar zara mushkil hi ho jaata hai ke:

"Jab aurat mard ko jismaani aasudgi na de sake to woh us ke liye bekaar, aur agar mard aurat ko maali aasoodgi na de sake to woh us ke liye aik bojh ban ker reh jaata hai".

Dr. Gibbs

Zindagi main aksar bohat se achhe insaan milte hain - aur phir bichaR jaate hain. Aaj phir koi baat aesi hui ke Dr. Gibbs bohat yaad aaye. Insan aksar apni nadani se kai mukhlis dostoN ko kho deta hai. Aur main ne to apne laubali-pan se kai piyare dostoN ko khoya hai. 

 Jab main ne residency ke baad pehli job shuru ki to Dr. Gibbs wahiN kaam kerte the. Mast insaan the. Lagta tha siwaye Medicine ke duniya main koi kaam nahi. Akhbaar paRhte ya pipe peete. Werna patients ke saath. Jahaan bhar ka tajarba tha, retire hone ki umar ko the magar kaam is liye kerte ke medicine se muhabbat thi. Un ke patients bhi un se bohat piyar kerte. Har roz un se Doctor's lounge main mulaqat hoti. Dosti ho gai. Main naya tha. Meri bohat madad kerte. Internist the magar central line, Swan Ganz, chest tubes, thoracentesis jese saare procedures aese kerte jese surgeon hon! Procedures kerte huwe whistle bajate rehte. Kehte is se mushkil hal ho jaati hai.  Bohat sikha un se. Sab se baRh ker un se, 'work ethics' aur 'patients se muhabbat' kerna seekha. Medicine bhi bohat seekhi . Jab Kabhi main 2/4 din nazar na aata to kehte: "Where have you been boy! Don't vanish. Stay in touch. It's not a good thing you do to others and yourself. Don't vanish like that ever." Aur har 2 hafte baad phir wahi kahani chalti.

Kisi ne bohat saaloN baad bataya, wapas Ireland chale gaye, wahan GP ho gaye.

Jab job choR ke jaane laga tha, to us din bhi yahi bole: "Young Man! Don't vanish . You hear me right? Stay in touch".

Aaj bhi aksar hospital main procedure kerte kabhi phans jaata hun to  unki whistle bohat yaad aati hai, ke kese asani se sab kuch ker lete the. Sirf is liye ke mohabbat kerne wale insaan the. Apne kaam se sincere the to Medicine ki pechidgiyon se ashnaa the. Kahin dil main koi khot nahi tha. Staff meeting main koi sakht baat bhi keh de to chup ker ke guzar jaate. Allah jaane! aesa dil insaanon ke paas kahan se aata hai. Itni muhabbat, itna darguzar to walioN nabioN main hi dekha - insaan to na huwe!

"It's not a good thing you do to others and yourself. Don't vanish like that ever."- Aam sa jumla tha - 15 baras lag gaye itni si baat ki gheraaii ko samjhne main, ke achhe insaan zindagi se chale jaain to unka to kuch nahi jaata - hum hi apni daulat kho bethte hain.

Aaj phir Dr. Gibbs bohat yaad aaye.

Benny

Benny mere paRos main apne kutte ke sath rehta hai.

Wese to Benny 20 saal se electrician ka kaam ker raha hai magar us ka dil apni musawarri se laga huwa hai. Benny louisiana ke rural area main paida huwa. ThoRi bohat homeschooling hui - is liye woh paRh to leta hai magar likh nahi pata. Us ne apni pehli tasveer das baras ki umar main apni nani ke saath 'garage sale' main bechi, magar jald hi use andaza ho gaya ke tasveerain bana ker zindagi ki gaaRi nahi chal sakti, to us ne electrician ka kaam sikh liya. Woh electrician ka kaam bhi utni hi bareek-bini aur imandaari se kerta hai jese ke apni tasveer pe kerta hai - ke ab ye us ki adate-saaniya ho gayi hai. Benny ne sketches bhi banaye, oil and water paintings bhi ki - magar ab woh ziyada tar rock-paintings banata hai. Ye aik bohat mushkil kaam hai kiunke rock jald paint ko 'absorb' ker lete hain aur inhimaak se us waqt tak brush chalane paRte hain jab tak rang pakke na ho jaaye. Aik din kisi ne Benny ki banayi tasveer ki qeemat sirf 50 dollars lagai. Us din se Benny ne apni paintings bechna band ker di hai. Logon ko gift ker deta hai.

Benny sannate main raat bhar painting kerta hai. Kehta hai paintaing ke liye bohat sakoot chahiye. Benny udas ho to painting kerta hai. Khush ho to painting kerta hai. Aur kisi ko tohfa dena ho to bhi painting kerta hai. Benny ko janwaroN se bari mohabbat hai. Jab main ne Benny ki paintings ka zakhira dekha to us main sceneries to thiN magar kutte, billi, bheRye, sher, cheethe, bob-cats, coyote wagera ki ziyada tasweerain thiN. Main ne Benny se poocha: Aesa kiun? To Benny ne jawab diya: "Kiun ke janwaron ke paas hamari tarah bolne ki naimat nahi to woh saare izhaar aankhon se kerte hain. Yahi baat mujhe bohat mutasir kerti hai aur main koshisk kerta hun ke meri tasveer se janwaaron ki aankhain baat kerti aur apne jazboN ka izhaar kerti nazar aayaiN. Main sab se pehle aankhain paint kerta hun, woh theek ho jaaye to baqi amal baRa asan ho jaata hai". Benny ne ye baat mujh se 2 saal pehle kahi thi. Us din se mera har janwaar ko dekhne ka andaaz badal gaya hai. Ab main kisi janwaar ko dekhta hun to us ki aankhon pe sab se pehle nazar paRti hai aur sach much janwaar mujh se baat kerte nazar aate hain. (Aap bhi aazma lijye).

Benny jese inssan chup chaap apni dhun main zindagi ki chakki main apna DhoNa Dhote rehte hain - is liye nahi ke unko koi faida ho - bulke is liye ke unka dil us se shaad ho. Zindagi aese hi insaanoN se mehkti rehti hai. 

Aap bhi soch rahe hon ge - kesi pheeki pheeki kahani hai. Na koi climax , na koi lashkaara! Magar woh kiya hai ke - meri saari daulat mil ker bhi us ki aik painting nahi khareed sakte !! Mere liye yahi bohat hai ke - jab raat ke sakoot main uske paint ki khushbu meri naak tak paunchti hai to mera dil kerta hai ke kabhi fajar na ho aur khusbu ka yeh masoom lamha yanhi theR jaaye.

Benny mere paRos main apne kutte ke sath rehta hai .

On "Getting Tired"

Unse meri bohat dinoN baad mulaqat hui. Bulke yun kahiye kai mahinoN baad. 

Main ne poocha: "Sir! kahan rehte hain! aap ne to logon main uthna bethna hi choR diya hai. Kiya adam-bezaar ho gaye hain?"

"Nahi, aesa to nahi bus ab khud apne saath ziyada waqt guzaarta hun".

"Aesa kiun? Aap se baRi ronaq rehti thi mehfiloN main"

"Bus bhai! Insaani rishtoN ki halawat main jahan bohat se saroor hain, wahan zimedarian aur dukh ki kaRi deewarain bhi hain. Ab un dukhoN ki uljhanoN se uljhane ki na to himmat hai aur naa hi unko suljhaane ka jigaR. Bus dostiaN , rishte nibhate nibahte thak sa gaya hun."

women hair

Aurat ka aadha husn to us ke baalon se hai. 

Jo aurat ye nuqta samjh gai, cha gai.

On "Women's 12th Man"

Aurat baRi bewaqoof hoti hai. Us ki zindagi main aik mard aesa hota hai jo uske saath saath rehta hai magar woh use darkinaar rakhti hai. Woh use dost keh leh gi, saathi keh lagi magar us se mohabbat nahi ker paaye gi. Jese Thomas Hardy ke 'Far from the Madding Crowd' main hota hai.

Aur woh mard bhi Iftikhar Arif ke barhwain khiladi ki tarah

intezar karta hai 
aik aisi sa'at ka,  
aik aisay lamhey ka 
jis main saniha ho jaaye 
.....
aik jumla-e-khush kun 
aik naara-e-tehseen 
us kay naam ho ja'aye 
Sab khilariyon kay saath 
woh bhi moutabar ho ja'aye 

(Iftikhar Arif here)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvWQXRxgIGY

The Worst Mistake in the History of the Human Race

I will not lie! First time I get introduced to Jared Diamond when I picked a book at bookstore titled: "Why Is Sex Fun?", thinking of it as an erotica. It was the time of my life (somewhere from 1993 to 2001) where I roamed and spent hours and hours in bookstores as new age, parapsychology, metaphysics, hypnosis, palmistry, out of body experiences, death yoga, reincarnation and related subjects were my obsession. I previously blogged randomly like here, here, here etc

'Why Is Sex Fun?' turned out to be one remarkable book and an eye opener on human sexuality, psychology, and bonding. Afterward, I read some of his work with immense interest and believe that he is one of the most genius anthropologist of modern history. He is one of that distinct human being who not only questions conventional wisdom, but bring strong arguments in favor of his views - but still at the end leaves a lot for his reader to ponder and decide.

Few days ago while listening NPR, there was a discussion and statement was made that those societies which domesticated animals became more civilized. It prompted me to go back and dig years old article (thanks to Google) written by Jared Diamond: "The Worst Mistake in the History of the Human Race", where he argued that actually, human downfall started after they learned the art of farming (and domestication of animals). Before that human survived and did better in every aspect of life, living as hunters. Ecosystem stayed preserved, humans worked hard and stay focused and content. Sounds stupid but read the article. Before I put the link to article, allow me to paste three paragraphs here (as I am afraid if link goes down):

" One straightforward example of what Paleopathologists have learned from skeletons concerns historical changes in height. Skeletons from Greece and Turkey show that the average height of hunter-gatherers toward the end of the ice ages was a generous 5'9" for men, 5'5" for women With the adoption of agriculture, height crashed, and by 3000 B.C. had reached a low of only 5'3" for men, 5' for women By classical times heights were very slowly on the rise again, but modern Greeks and Turks have still not regained the average height of their distant ancestors".

"Besides malnutrition, starvation, and epidemic diseases, farming helped bring another curse upon humanity: deep class divisions. HunterGatherers have little or no stored food, and no concentrated food sources, like an orchard or a herd of cows: they live off the wild plants and animals they obtain each day Therefore, there can be no kings, no class of social parasites who grow fat on food seized from others. Only in farming populations could a healthy, nonproducing elite set itself above the disease-ridden masses..."

"As for the claim that agriculture encouraged the flowering of art by providing us with leisure time, modern hunter-gatherers have at least as much free time as do farmers. The whole emphasis on leisure time as a critical factor s€ems to me misguided. Gorillas have had ample free time to build their own Parthenon, had they wanted to. While post-agricultural technological advances did make new art forms possible and preservation of art easier, great paintings and sculptures were already being produced by hunter-gatherers 15,000 years ago, and were still being produced as recently as the last century by such hunter-gatherers as some Eskimos and the Indians of the Pacific Northwest."

Link to full article here
(http://www.sigervanbrabant.be/docs/Diamond.PDF)

On "Dead Patriotism"

14 August wale din jab tum ne mujh se yunhi kaha: Happy Pakistan Day - aur main ne koi jawab nahi diya to tumhare chehre pe aik rang aa ker chala gaya.

Wajah ye thi ke - zindagi main aksar kai muhabbatain aik dum bhaK se uRR jaati hain. Pakistan ke liye meri aTooT mohabbat ke saath bhi yahi huwa.

Islamabad main paida hui. Abbu Zoology ke professor/aik college ke principal - aur Ammi doctor thiN. Aik khushaal zindagi thi. Pakistan hamari jaan tha. Main haste khelte Medical College paunchi. Shadi bhi aik well established gold medalist physician se hui. Main neurologist, woh pulmonologist - Hum dono mian biwi ka shahr main baRa accha naam tha. Izzat thi, daulat thi - 2 piyare se bachhe the -- Ravi har taraf chen hi chen likhta tha!

Koi 5 baras pehle ki baat hai, aik raat hamare ghar kuch log ghus aaye. Hum Mian biwi ko baandh ker bachhoN ko utha ker le gaye. Police, fauj, agencies, beuraucrats, politicians, Mullah, Mafia har kisi ke aage haat joRe. Kisi tarah ke koi taaluqaat kaam na aaye. --- Aakhirkaar bangla, gaari, clinics ki zameen, saare zewar de ker bachhoN ko chuRaya. Hum bhag ke America aa gaye. Is umar main aik nai zindagi shuru kerna. Mere Husband raat ko Gas station pe kaam kerte, main din main grocery store pe. Allah Allah ker ke USMLE pass huwa. Rab ne kher ki - mujeh residency mil gai. Mere Husband se USMLE to pass ho gaya, residency na mili (his age, I guess). 

Tum hairan the ke hum agar 5 baras se is shahr  main hain to nazar kiun naa aaye, bus ab jaa ke halaat kuch badle hain to logoN main kuch uthna bethna shuru kiya hai.

Aur tum kehte ho mujhe se: Happy Pakistan Day ::: Pata nahi hasate ho ya rulaate ho !!!

Rassi

"Main zara si galati kerta hun, aur mujeh foran saza mil jaati hai. Kiun?"

"Wah Jazakallah - Mian tum to khuda ke pasandeedah bandoN main se huwe!"

"Matlab?"

"Native (Red) Indians kehte hain: Rassi jitni lambi ho, phaansi utni hi khaufnaak hoti hai"

The Mandela Effect

Hum sab "Mandela Effect" ke maare hain

Baqol N.M Rasheed, hum sab Guman ke Mumkin hain 
Baqol Saleem Kausar: Ajab aitabar 0 be-aitbaar ke darmiyaaN hai zindagi

Bus hone ka aik aihtamaal sa hai!

MakeeN hain hum yahan ke, 
hamari kaainaat kahiN aur hai

koi kal nahi - na jaane wala, na aane wala 
bus aik isi lamhe main pinhaN hai zindagi

Aik baat

"Aik baat kahun! Jo baat bister pe saath let ker kahi jaa sakti hai, woh baat aksar - zamane bhar ki himmat joT ke bhi - wese nahi kahi jaa sakti".

On "Hotel Checkout Mania"

First time I sat in airplane when I was 27 years old! But than life remained a constant run for me. It is  like "zindagi ka muqaddar - safar dar safar". May be as I came from lower middle class, I tend to check hotel room, bathroom and living area three or four times before I check out - to make sure I haven't forgot my charger, iPad, tooth brush or something. One of my colleague on my last hotel check out made an interesting comment to tease me but I guess there was a grain of truth in it.

"Jo log hotel check out pe - baar baar ye check kerte hain ke - kuch reh to nahi gaya, kuch reh to nahi gaya - aese log aksar saari zindagi apne ooper gadhe ki tarah cheezoN ka bojh laade phirte rehte hain".

On "Life Many or Less Choices"

Few days ago I was listening to Shah Rukh Khan regarding his life from middle class, early demise of his parents, his arrival to Bollywood as a survival and than achieving the top spot there. (I could not relocate the particular link on youtube)

As a human we feel constraint, irritated and unhappy when life doesn't presents many options to us while making any decision. But what I have seen and learned that human mind is mostly prone to make wrong choice if given too many options. Many times, it is a blessing when life decides a way for us. I think: "Life is all about acceptance and perception".

I have to agree with Shah Rukh; "Success is usually accidental"!

On Side note: My crush Mila Kunis is back in "Bad Moms" and look as stunning as ever and this time with more maturity. Its a good movie to just laugh and have a good time. Trailer here

On "A Woman at Age 60"

F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote in 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' that: "...Twenty-five is too worldly-wise; thirty is apt to be pale from overwork; forty is the age of long stories that take a whole cigar to tell; sixty is - oh, sixty is too near seventy; but fifty is the mellow age. I love fifty. "

Here is another opinion. - As described by a woman.

I think 60 is the best age for a woman. It is a balanced age for libido, calmness, experiences, health, and emotional intelligence. 

I had my menarche at age 13 and my first kiss at age 14. Yes! Girls are stupid to remember that. I lost my virginity to the first man I truly loved at age 17, and I have no regret for it. For a brief period, I experimented with drugs, sex, tobacco, and binge drinking at the dorm. I had my share of heartbreaks, relationship setbacks, crying spells, and divorce due to physical abuse. I married again to another good man. I raised three children like a typical suburban momma!

But as I continued to age, I slowly became a spectator to life events. I start enjoying my time with myself. 

Though on the way, menopause was a big bummer. For a while, I lost myself. I felt useless. Kids were grown and gone. My husband had lost interest in me and was in his mid-life crisis. I felt like a useless thrown-away tampoon. It took not months but years before the dust settled down. As I recovered, I started enjoying my time reading, shopping, classes at the gym, dinner, and a fine glass of wine with friends, book club, playing bridge, and caring for the house and my health. Now, I keep all my appointments with my doctor and dentist. I still call my relatives and send them cards. But I don't need or expect the same in return.

Please don't take me wrong. I still love and value my husband. We travel together, and I genuinely enjoy it. But now I feel I don't need him. Kids may call or may not call. Thanksgiving and Christmas' are just dates on a calendar. If they visit, I adore their visits and love hugging my grandchildren. I do enjoy their pictures on Facebook and answer their texts. I still sleep in the same bed as my husband. But I don't need any of them anymore.

At age 60, a woman achieves a kind of grace and calmness and enjoys a strange drunkenness. She is very happy and very content. 

I doubt poor men enjoy the same bliss.

*

On "The Toughest Test of Friendship"

Friendships and human bondings remained the core value  of my life. But it was not easy as I found it very hard to walk that fine line between being a "naseh' and a 'charasaz'. Indeed I have lost many friends when they needed me just to vent their emotions but as a true friend, I found it my responsibility to identify their blind spots, which sometimes grow to full blindness during moments of crisis. I blogged about it here. On the same token, I myself, during some of my wicked days of life became an extremely hypersensitive human and lost many friends as it was hard for them to sustain my bickerings. Over many years, I learned to stay quiet and let vent happen. I learned myself to become hypersensitive to friends' needs - as the most important thing they need is your presence. Absence is the biggest bummer in such situations. And, once I see the low tide of emotions, I try to passively express my honest opinion.

One sage years ago told me that: "The most important thing in life to say, I am here if you need me  - and mean it".

On "woman's anchor"

Mard pareshan ho - zindagi main kisi 'crisis mode' se guzar raha ho - to chup ho ker konaa pakaR leta hai 
- aur aurat - dil'joii ke liye koi saharaa ya 'anchor' dhundhne nikal paRti hai - bus yahi woh kamzor lamha hota hai - jahan woh kisi mard ka aasan shikar ho jaati hai 

On "AI"

Some people are really very smart as they can see very easily, very clearly and in easy words answers to very complex issues. Stephen Hawkins concluded in his famous book: "A Brief History of Time" that there will never be any 'Time Machine', as if it's true, people from future would have already visited us. Or as he concluded: "Probability is that there is no other intelligent life superior to human in universe - otherwise they would have already contacted us".

Few weeks back while at MIT, I heard an interesting argument that: "Most human developments, discoveries and progresses are due to making mistakes and learning from mistakes, and this constant endeavor. Artificial Intelligence (AI) will have less chances of making mistakes and so may never be able to overcome human power. In other words perfection is not a positive characteristic, rather learning from imperfection is an ideal characteristic!!

Some people are so intelligent that it just baffles my mind!

Good Dinosaurs

As in last few months, I blogged about my fascination with some of the kids' new animated movies - where they try to simplify complicated concepts to make them think 'out of box'. Movies like 'inside out' (here), 'Captain America" (here), 'Zootopia' (here), 'Minions' (here) and others.

'The Good Dinosaur' (trailer) is an interesting concept. Whenever we hear word Dinosaur it brings negative connotation in our mind as human brains have been conditioned to think of them as wild savage animals who roam on this planet earth destroying everything. This movie tried to reverse that impression by showing that Dinosaurs were just a living creature on this planet earth and indeed like humans there were many good hearted and helpful among them.

On side note: It brought back in my head famous dinosaur scene (here) from a highly acclaimed movie 'Tree of life' (here).

On "Bright side of migration"

I met one of my cousins after 32 years. As family went to sleep under jet lag, we sat all night in the backyard of the house with nice breeze blowing, lights off and some moonlight. We puffed hukkah, sipped cups of chai after chai and tried to catch up on stories of our loves, lives and fortune.

RaatoN se bhi lambe ye piyar ke qisse
Aashiq sunate hain jafaye yaar ke qisse

He said something very interesting: "32 years ago when I landed at Perth airport, I had only 200 dollars in my pocket and didn't know where to go. As life unfolded, my first job was to clean 400 urinals and WCs of a 22 storeys' building. I did it with all my heart. Later I flipped burgers, drove taxi, took care of old people, cooked in restaurants, collected trash for a company - went to college - Eventually I found my opportunity and my luck clicked as Louis Pasteur said: 'Nature favors prepared mind' - my one man company grew beyond imaginations transacting thousands of dollars a day. Do you know why? Let me tell you what I think. My family migrated multiple times in last 100 years - from a small town of India to big city of Agra and then to East Pakistan (Bangladesh) and then to West Pakistan - from a refugee camp to one after another neighborhood of Karachi - It put resilience and survival in our blood. So my friend - don't always think of poverty and migration as a curse. There is always a silver lining to a black cloud. Are we not better than many who were born with silver spoon in their mouth and never experienced misery?"

On "infidelity in Marriage"

Few days back, I was talking to a friend about infidelity in marriages. Lot of dirt get throw on each other when marriages break down due to infidelity - but - I think once relationship breaks down - it does not matter which spouse cheated or does not cheated. These all are secondary fallouts and nothing but misplaced anger from actual core of (from whatever reason) long gone and dead bonding.

huwa jab Gham se yuN behis to Gham kya sar ke katne ka 
Na hota gar judaa tan se,  to zaanoN par dhaRaa hotaa

On "moment of near death"

(posted as said to me)

"Bhai! - jab main ne drug overdose kiya aur ICU ke bed pe para tha to - sab keh rahe the - ab ye nahi bache ga. Mujhe kuch kuch sunai aur dikhai bhi de raha tha - magar unko lag raha tha main aakhri hichkian le raha hun...... 

Main ne CPR ko bhi mehsoos kiya, ragoN main dawaian bhi mehsoos ho rahi thi. Mera vomitting kerna... aadha jism sun ho jaana ... dil ka dubna, bhai sab mehsoos ker raha tha main, magar...

Magar bhai - sab se ajeeb baat ye thi - mere dil ko yaqeen tha abhi maut nahi aani! Mera dil kahin keh raha tha - ye maut ka lamha to nahi ho sakta - Maut aesi to nahi hoti. 

Bhai! tum to doctor ho aur tum ne to aesi bohat kitabain paRi hain - Kiya hamari ruh ko maut ke zaaiqe ka ilm hota hai. Kiya maut aati hai to jism choRne ka pataa - dil, dimag, hum-zaat aur ruh saath de dete hain?

Bhai! mujhe aesa laga - main pehle bhi kabhi kahin mar chuka hun - aur tab to maut aesi nahi thi..Bhai! mujeh aagahii thi ke maut main to baRa itminaan hota hai... 

Bhai woh sab kiya tha! Bolo na !!!"

On "JaN Nisar Akhtar's Dile NadaN"

Jan Nisaar Akhtar (father of Javed Akhtar) was a well-known progressive poet of pre-post partition India. He was from Lucknow school of poetry - and kept his poetry simple - away from heavy Persian and Arabic words. One of his poetry - Ae dile Nadan, which was inducted after 7 years of his death in the movie, Razia Sultana, by Kamal Amrohi Sahab - speaks of the beauty of his simple language poetry. I am putting a link from youtube but God knows how long link will stay alive. Each word and line feel like a marvel - (indeed with voice of Lata Mangeshkar and music of Khayyam).

Ye zameeN chup hai, aasmaaN chup hai

Phir ye dhaRkan si chaar-su kiya hai

A Curious Case of a Bathroom Curious

Being a physician - and after so many years, if I can call myself a seasoned physician, I have seen many familiar and uncommon diseases. But this case was unique. I am unsure if it ever got published as I could not follow it later due to privacy reasons - but this case, even after so many years, is hard to explain.

The patient was a physician in his mid-fifties - and was blessed with fortune, fame, family, and all stabilities. But he was addicted to sneaking into people's houses (like a thief) when they were not home to use the bathrooms. If he cannot quickly get into a place, he will check into any hotel/motel and sneak into an occupied room when a guest is out during the daytime. He will take nothing - just visit and use the bathroom - and leave. He managed to avail master key or machine to duplicate cards for the hotel rooms. Eventually, he was caught by a guest and later arrested due to hotel cameras. I don't know if he could practice later, but as far as I know, he was let go without pressing charges from a particular guest and hotel. On the same day, shaken from arrest, he checked himself into ER to seek professional help - and our service was consulted for an unrelated issue.

I asked many psychiatrist friends, but no one ever heard of any such case. Each shrink has his theory to explain his behavior - but nothing concrete ever came out. This case always comes to mind when I see many successful people around me with odd habits.

Indeed, even after 25 years of everyday work as a physician - humans continue to boggle my intelligence - and every day, I get my 'humility pie' of wrong judgment or presumed diagnosis.

Insaan is kaainat ki sab se bari kitab hai 

*

"Hats off Sir"

Saw Edhi Sahab multiple times between 1986 and 1992 - when I worked as a medical student, volunteer and later as a house officer in "Casualty" (ER). He was shockingly a simple person. Courageous to carry any wounded in his arm from his ambulances arriving one after another from riot-torn areas, irrespective of any ethnicity - and without any fear of any political goons there.

Indeed, a legend - a man far bigger than any price - died.

On "Writing"

I had to visit Boston for some work and see old friends. Saw this sign in one of the corridors at MIT. It explains, why I blog

O Man! You who just see me below my navel

محترمہ (ثروت زہرا) کا خوبصورت کھرا، سچائ سے بھرپور کلام

My loose English translation below

(مجھے میری ناف سے نیچے دیکھنے والے!)

میری ناف کے پہلو میں میری کوکھ بھی موجود ہے۔
جہاں تمھارے جیسی کئی کائناتوں کی تجسیم کی گنجائش
رکھ دی گئی ہے۔
اور اس سے ذرا اوپر مرا دل ہے۔
جہاں عمر بھر کی محبتوں کا اتنا زیادہ بہی کھاتا لکھا جاتا ہے۔
کہ اب یہاں عبادت گاہوں سے زیادہ تقدس گونجتا ہے۔
اور یہی کہیں قریب سے ہی تمھاری پہلی
غذا کی دھارائیں نکلتی ہیں۔
اور اس دل سے اوپر میری زبان ہے جہاں
الف کے بےنقاط اور ب کے تمام نقاطـ
کے ذائقے دے دیے گئے ہیں۔
اور اس دہن سے اوپر میری آنکھ ہے۔
جو چشم آہو کے علاوہ گمان و یقین کو اپنی
روشنی کی لگام سے باندھنا جانتی ہے۔
اور ان آنکھوں سے اوپر ایک دماغ ہے۔
جس کے اعصابی
ریشوں کے درمیان شعور سے لاشعور تک
کے سارے توازن رکھے گئے ہیں۔
مجھے میری ناف سے نیچے دیکھنے والے!
شائد اسی لئے میرے قدموں کے نیچے جنتیں رکھ دی گئی ہیں

(O Man! who just see me below my navel)

Beside my navel lies my uterus too
Where lies the potential of creation
of many universes like you
And just above that is my heart
Where registers fountain of life-long loves
making it holier than any temple
And somewhere near it flows
The lifeline of your first food
And above that lies my tongue
Where (Almighty) kept the pleasures
of all finities of A and infinities of B
And above that opening
Lies my eyes
Which want to circle all lights
Beyond perception of sight and vision
And above that, there is a mind
Between neurons of which he kept
All balances of
Subconscious to consciousness
O Man!  You who just see me below my navel
That's why lies heavens below my feet

On "Full Moon"

Zindagi main mujhe poore chaand se ziyada koi cheez mystify nahi kerti!

Poore chaand pe aik waqiya aksar yaad aata hai: USA main mera pehla hafta hai. Mujhe residency ke interview ke liye NewYork se Detroit jaana paRa. Paise the nahi, to bus ki raat ki ticket pe safar kerna shuru kiya. NewYork ke Grand Central Station se (Itna baRa station na dekha na suna) mere saath aik aur Pakistani doctor sawar ho gaye - Dr. Anwar. Hum saath saath seat per beth gaye. Jab raat apne joban pe paunchi to bus ki khiRki se mujhe aye baRa chaand nazar aaya. Itna baRa chaand main ne pehle nahi dekha tha. Main aur Dr. Anwar poori hairat se itna baRa chaand dekhte rahe. Phir Dr. Anwar ne aankhain band kerta huwa kaha: "Soch liya! Ab saari zindagi isi mulk main rehna hai". 

Main ne poocha: "Abhi se faisla ker liya?"

Bole: "Jis mulk main aesa kubsurat aur baRa chaand niklta ho, use koi kaafir hi choR ker jaaye ga".  Shayed sach hi kehte the woh!

Hum huwe tum huwe ke meer huwe
us kii zulfoN    ke sab    aseer huwe*


*(ye shyr is liye likha ke hamare aik dost dusre misreh main us ko tanzian hamesah US - United States - parhte hain)

On "Midlife Crisis of Men"

"Tum jaante ho mard ke 'mid-life crisis' ka sab se bhayanak roop kaun sa hota hai?"

"Kaunsa?"

"Jab woh apni dhalti jawani ko chupaane ke liye aurat pe zulm-o-jabar pe utar aata hai"

Three Dreams of Ann Frank

Last week, I had to go to Iowa for hospital work. I was tagged with a local family doctor. It was an eye-opener. We drove miles and miles of beautiful, lush green cornfields and soybean farms. He told me that his family always wanted him to be a farmer, but he decided to be a small-town doctor, though he still helps out his father as a part-time farmer. I laughed and said: "In our part of the world, all parents want their children to be doctors."

Most importantly, I learned that small farmers struggle in the midwest USA despite highly fertile land. They have been exploited in the same way as in any other part of the world. Small farmers can not compete with big giant corporations and are eventually bullied out to sell their farms (Ha! Walmart). The cost and maintenance of new farming machines are skyrocketing. To ease the pain of financial hardships, towns set up small weekly markets for local farmers and retailers to sell vegetables, fruits, crafts, etc. We drove to the neighboring state of Minnesota to see the Thursday market in Rochester. There was a stall of books written by local authors. I bought a storybook by Rod Starcke: "Three Dreams of Anne Frank." It was an interesting story of a young girl, Anne, struggling to write a good Fairy tale. As the story evolves, she goes through a mystical journey of three dreams named Ocean, Church, and The Tracks (of the train) - where out of her fear and fight for survival (and her deaths), she learns to help out other people At the end, she writes: "Finally! I have it right. Ellen dies and comes back in people's dreams so that she can keep comforting them even after death".

It sounds like a typical life story of any Sufi !!!

I was not expecting such a forceful story sitting at a small stall in a small town. It was just beautiful.

*